How do you feel when you consider your children having sex?

[OrmRenewed]

Does it freak you out?

Because I have surprised myself by being totally calm about the whole thing. Have a fairly ... ermm placid libido myself . Fairly take it or leave it attitude really. But I realise that to a lot of people sex is central to their lives and relationships. Had a quite inhibited upbringing re sex and bodies. DH had the opposite. Thanks to DH's attitude we've brought up our DC to ask questions and be open about their bodies.

But now it's me, not DH, that is unfazed. He gets quite bothered by the idea of them having sex. I only want them to take precautions and avoid the selfish destructive idiots.

Anyone else feel that way? Or am I being dangerously naive?

Pretty relaxed really. DS is 16 now, though not yet got a girlfriend. I sort of assume he'll meet a girl in the nearish future, and quite likely they'll "do it". I just hope we've explained enough about contraception, STDs, respect etc for it all to be a positive experience for both of them as and when it happens!

I'm very chilled about it, its an inevitable part of growing up (although mine are too little atm) but DP hates the thought of his dd (17) ever having sex, although I'm pretty sure she has by now.
I think its a father/daughter thing. To the day he died my dad convinced himself I'd had sex twice, once for each child

You are being totally sensible, I can't believe the stick I got on another thread for admitting that we allowed our DD to sleep with her first serious boyfriend in our house from when she was about 16 1/2!

Me and DH were having sex at the same age and we both said that no way would we be like his mum was, so uptight and repressed about sex.

As long as they know that sex ,
a. can have serious consequences - pregnancy, STDs etc.
b. is meant to be a mutually pleasurable experience between consenting partners.

You can't go far wrong imho.

Dont be silly. They wont do that!

LaLaLAAAAAAAAA fingers in ears

dd is only 13, and I used to be very about the idea of it- but like you all, hope I'll be quite relaxed about it.
As long as you've talked about the things Malifience has posted- you can't do much more.
My parents were so repressed- I was called a slut at 18 for being on the pill (my mum was a dr's receptionist and read my notes!!!)
ds only 11 but I hope he treats women with respect (or men- who knows how he'll turn out!)

Well mine are only 11 and 13 (and 7, but I think we can disregards him for a long time yet!) but they are changing so fast now. DS#1 has finally started enjoying the company of girls and has a girl-friend that he actually wants to be with rather than one who wanted a bf as an accessory cos all her mates had one I know it's coming and for some reason it doesn't bother me.

I think the reality of the stage they've reached, and your internal view of them, sort of get out of kilter sometimes - it sounds like you've adjusted to the idea of puberty and growing up, but your DH still has a view of them as being "just children still" so the idea of sex is ok to you - you've started to include them in the "going to be sexually active soonish" category of people, and he hasn't. I expect his view of them will catch up before they actually start doing it - still a while to go yet!

I think my DH adjusted to the idea of DS growing up a bit before I did, and was thinking about the reality of sexuality and girlfriends etc before it had really occurred to me to think about the whole subject.

My son is 16 1/2 and has a serious girlfriend who I'm pretty sure he's slept with. I don't have a problem with that but I loathe the slurpy snogging they do all the damn time, even when you're trying to have a conversation with them. Ew!

I am lucky to have an open, honest relationship with my ds (20). We have talked about EVERYTHING over the years- drugs, sex, love, sexuality etc. I did tell him about 6m ago that I didn't want to discuss favourite positions & fetishes with him but that's the only no-no really. He has grown up with a responsible, healthy attitude to sex and I wouldn't want it any other way. Don't know how I'll feel when my dd grows up though. They are likely to do it sometime I suppose so I'd rather they were safe and comfortable and in a respectful relationship.

mine are only 9 and 5 but we already have a very open approach to anything sexual.

they know where babies come from and how they are made.

I am probably a little too open in general but i hope that it will enable the children to know there is nothing they can say that will shock me or upset me.

I feel nauseous at the thought. I expect, however, that it's because of the very-not-brilliant formative experiences that I had, and my irrational mind assumes that similar things will happen to my DD. Which is a possibility, I suppose, unless I can help her to avoid it. I can't imagine her wanting to take my advice on it, though...

Mine are 19 & 7 - both boys. I didn't let the oldest ones GF stay over night till he turned 18 (and there for an adult in my eyes) but it was also because the little one was only 5 at the time. His current GF stays round every weekend and i dont have a problem with it ...in wfact i am gad he is having sex ...it is normal in a healthy adult relationship ...i would be worried if he wasn't having sex.

Mine are 9 & 11 and they are not going to. Neither are they going to have the teenage years. Having read all the teenager stories on here, I have decided they are to skip all that.

They will go from 13 to 30 and arrive there with a wife and 2 children and that will be the end of it.

Say nothing to me that will harm my delusion.

DD is only 8 but Conversations have been had about how babies are made, and about making sure it's your own choice to do things - right now that's more about peer pressure
I take the approach that she needs to be able to talk about Things without us losing our minds.
DP is horrified by all of it but does a good job of explaining

Yes, you are quite right. Of course that's going to happen.

basically, what Mal said.

i have been roasted for letting my 16 year old have boy/gfs sleep over.
[she's now 19. she's not pregnant or riddled with disease or gasping for a baby or grown up too fast.]

im way too interested in contraceptive methods and STI's and all that. they are used to me debating the pro's and con's of condoms over breakfast [doesnt happen that often, promise]

Orm