I really need some help now

[IWantWine]

I doubt anyone will remember how I struggled to get away from my OH. Well I have, sort of. I have managed to find somewhere to live, just renting, but I cant find a job and I cant stay there if I cant pay the rent.

I just cant cope any more! I have tried so hard but he wont leave me alone. Not for a second. There is just too much to say really, too many complications and now.... another disappointment! No. Actually I am devastated at the latest turn in events and now I just want to curl up and die!

I am feeling such emotional pain right now I cant take it any more but I have no choice. I have nothing and no one.I dont know how to go on any more. I cant face going back there. And I cant stop crying. Tell me somebody, it will get better.

It will get better.

Promise

regarding the rent - have you contacted the council - you will get housing benefit/council tax benefit.

I was were youi are this time last year. It was hard. Really really hard and i couldnt see a time where it would get any better.

But it will. I know you feel like youi are dying and cant cope. But you can, and you will.

Do what you need to do to get through the day. Dont get too bogged down by thinking about everything. Just do one thing at a time.

It will get better.. as schmontilidrop.. one thing at a time..

one breath at at time, and yes tackle the rent first re. your entitlements. I am sure that someone will be along to go give good advice about your rights, but also try the Citizens Advice Beareu (sorry can't spell!)

Not sure of the background, but can you not take calls, respond by text (in your own time).

Can you define when/how is appropriate to communicate with him..

I do know how you feel in that regard, and how exhausted and soul destroying it can be after a bad weekend. But it really does get better.. a lot better..and you don't have to go back.

i know its hard to not take calls and things.
ive been there when hes just constantly called, continously over and over again for hours.. then days on end. Just to shout abuse at me, or abusive texts.

I the end i had to unplug the phone.

or jsut say ' i will not talk to you while you are being like this. and then dont.

i know its hard, harder than anything. But you can do it.

Literally a year on from you, and now we can talk and he even lent me his car for a month.

But its taken hell of a lot to get to this place.

My landlord wont take tenants on benefits and as a family we already claim and I just feel so overwhelmed right now I cant cope with that.

It is this last situation that is hurting me so much. My world just came crashing down again. I know this time the pain wont go away.. oh it sounds dramatic I know.The end of a relationship that didnt get a chance. I didnt realise how much it meant to me but fate has intervened so I guess it wasnt meant to happen. I am such a fool I know I will feel better eventually, but right now it hurts too much.

Thanks for your replies. I wish I could just take an asprin for this pain!

.. can you see someone? CAB (rent issues) or your GP (for how you are feeling)?

You are probably grieving more than this last bump (as I understand it), be kind to yourself and just take one day at a time...

I am sorry you feel so bad today.

Thanks... I am feeling a bit better. Everything just got too much.

Hopefully, though, I will be starting work in a couple of weeks that helps!

I dont want to go back on anti depressants..

Are you in touch with Women's AId? This man can be compelled to leave you alone, you can take out harassment orders etc to force him to stop abusing you with phone calls and texts.

I tried womens aid when I first left but I didnt get anywhere, I should have tried harder but they were just not helpful. I suppose because I wasnt in danger of actual physical harm.

I can manage to keep him at arms length most of the time.

It was just one last straw. One unexpected and unwanted happening that wiped out the potential for what I was hoping would be a great relationship. And that is putting it mildly. I truly feel completely heartbroken right now.

But, I have picked myself up again, still a bit tearful, but I will get over it! I just needed a hug. I know I am not the first, but it is hard to make the break with no actual support. No close friends and no family nearby. Its hard when you need to reach out and there isnt anybody there, you know?

Thanks again. I really appreciate you all taking time to respond. It helped.

Don't tell your landlord you receive housing benefit, they pay it straight to you, and you pay him. Good luck.