A minor problem in the bedroom.

[Blushingonamonday]

Its not a huge problem but its sometting that plays on my mind and I'm a bit embarressed about asking but I can't bring it up with anyone in real life!

My husband is an excellent lover, he is really atentive and always eager to please me but sometimes I feel lik I'd rather just have a 'quickie'.

The problem is he doesn't come for ages, its not really a medical thing, (although he is on tablets that can make it difficult to orgasm, but he's been on them years and seems fine, he can come he just likes to have a long time together) he just likes long sessions, changing positions and activities but I'm quite like a bloke in that when I'm done, then I'm done.

So if he is going down on me I can't help but come, but then I have to carry on for another 40 mins and hour when I really don't feel like it.

But its unfair to go, "right I'm finished, tough luck matey." to him!

The only alternative I can think of is trying not to come until I know hes close but thats not to fun either

Does anyone else have this problem?

Does piss me off when everything is prefaced as a "quickie" but i get the message

In defence of your DP, savour this ...save it up for your old age if you can.

Those talking about (extended) simultaneous eruptions deserve no sympathy from anyone

CrankyTwanky

we sort of go for sexual swapsies....me first, then him, then me, then him....

ive found if you give yourself a bit of a break by concentrating on him then im always ready to go again....its never quite as fantastic as the first but im not complaining!

and i second the advice on the vibrating cock ring....makes it a bit more fun while your waiting!

Yes, revert to the Pavlovian bell

Cock rings? They don't last long enough- he keeps going and going after that. I find being REALLY loud hurries him up no end . Woodchuck- I once had to tell work that I'd fallen down the stairs as I was suffering so much!

Intrigued, I set off to research rings and homed in on the "risks" highlighted by wiki

...... not to be worn for more than 20-30 minutes. Falling asleep or using illicit drugs at the same time is very dangerous. The first sign of pending problems are when the penis starts to become numb or white. As soon as this happens, the cock ring must be removed. [1]

To ensure that cock rings easily come off, the latest cock rings have quick release mechanisms so one does not have to struggle with pulling the rubber ring from the base of the penis. ...... Other problems with cock rings are that many do slip off or get caught in pubic hair. Some can cause severe tightening of the scrotum which is not a pleasant feeling.......

Not sure where this leaves me...

IMO/E men seem to think that going forever is a sign of a good lover.

And sometimes it may be. But if you've already come, then - medical issues to one side - just banging on and on is a bit self indulgent.

If he has issues that stop him coming quickly, then you need to take that into account. But otherwise - and especially if he's making you sore - then you have to tell him.

I'm prepared to indulge DH to a degree, as I get that he can get pleasure from prolonging the inevitable - but when the inevitable seems far from, and all it's doing is making a bout of thrush inevitable for me, then no way!

The longer you go without talking to him about it, the harder it will be to talk to him.

A sensible drastic approach will be to actually ask him to stop when you feel uncomfortable, he won't explode, men are perfectly capable of having sex without orgasm ( just like us). After a couple of times he'll probably get the message.

Why you can't just gently tell him that he doesn't need to go on for so long, I don't know! If you wanted to flatter his poor, fragile male ego you could say he's sooo damn good that once you've had a massive orgasm , you're too knackered to continue, or, treat him like the adult he is and tell him the truth.
It's not like you're telling him he's crap in bed, quite the reverse!

I find that having a really big and err vocal orgasm tips guys over the edge...! And couln't you just say "come for/in me now"!

Tease him so much he can't help but come. Spend lots of time on his stuff

Get him so wound up he cant help it.

1. Talk to him.
2. See point 1