What now..I've said it's over and am now miserable :(

[duejuly2010]

DP and I have argued a lot recently. First it was about a new business he began despite me saying we needed to talk about financial/space to do it at home first. He did it anyway and after said tough luck basically.

Then it was over him disagreeing with me about everything that comes out of my mouth

Then it was over him eating gammon steak for breakfast despite me saying i'd put it aside for a meal (typical 3 dinner type eating habits for him despite money issues). He said it was his f**king food plus a lot of other 'shut up woman' type stuff.

I'm fed up with him constantly swearing at me, calling me all the names under the sun, totally disrespecting my opinion.

So on Sat I said it wasn't working and he'd have to leave, I've stayed at a friends since but feel so miserable.

He's text saying he's not backing down and I have to stop being stubborn. He has said he's leaving but I feel so sad and not confident I can keep strong

Do your DP's swear at you and call you names if you 'moan' about stuff they do?

Didn't want to read and run.

Am in the middle of divorce myself, and I got to the point where it was affecting the kids....and really, LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR THIS SHIT.

Once you compare life after, with the life you had before, there's your answer.

Peace and quiet, no eggshells, doing what you wish...need I say more? xxx

Absolutely not, my DH has never sworn at me or called me unpleasant names in 28 years together.

His behaviour towards you is totally unacceptable , a relationship is only good if both partners respect each other and listen to what the other person has to say.

His words and his deeds point to utter disregard for you.
Let him go, what kind of miserable life will you have if you let him walk all over you?

You can do far, far better.

Thanks guys, know you're right but it's taking every last drop of energy not to text him (he's said he doesn't want a text war). And I know the reason I want to text him is because I'm missing him.

Doesn't help that I'm having his baby in 7 weeks. But on sat when I said it wasn't working he called me a f*king sut and said he didn't love me and was only still there because I'm pregnant.

He's since taken it back and 75% of the time is lovely....but I don't want to be spoken to like mud. This is misery

No he doesn't and never would.

You are better off without him, honestly.

Sorry, you don't want to hear it at the mo - you have alot going on, but you will be so much happier without this git near you.

Sounds like a real charmer

No, its verbal abuse, and its not on. Presumable he doesnt do this to his boss or anyone else, just you, in private i guess.

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Types/verbal.htm

He doesn't have a boss, can't handle anyone having any say over anything he does. I've had the police on my doorstep 3 times in the last year because of his temper and not just frommephoning them.

Why the hell can I not be really strong and BELIEVE it has to be over this time!

Agree with dignified.

His behaviour is unacceptable.

I've been through a divorce after 8 years together previously and I know it gets easier. Got to find strength from somewhere

Thanks for the link dignified. I guess sometimes I wonder whether I'm being unreasonable moaning about stuff but IMO that shouldn't lead to an explosion of verbal diarrhea, name calling etc.

Have you read the Lundy Bancroft book, or living with the dominater ? Both are just a few quid on amazon. Personally once i started to read about what he was REALLY doing , and stopped pretending he was a poor bloke who didnt get it, it was a lot easier to get shot.

Also, have you spoke to womans aid ? You dont have to being violently assaulted , verbal abuse is listed on their page as a form of domestic violence. They also run a freedom programme where they teach you about these wankers, what drives their behaviour ( and yours ),and how to spot them. Its free and good fun.

In the meantime have a nose around the net for sites about verbal abuse. They rareley are just verbal abusers though , they usually emply a range of tactics including emotional abuse, gaslighting, stonewalling ect.

Blimey! Will take a look about, it may convince my silly head that I need to be firm and stick with my decision, thank you

Why does he do that? - Lundy Bancroft - excellent!