what's the solution here??

[msboogie]

So, male friend, let's call him R, is divorced and has 2 DDs 5 and 7. Marriage break up was caused by serial infidelity on the part of the wife. Both with new partners now.

They have the usual every second weekend arrangement but it wasn't formally agreed in court. This is usually works ok unless she sees fit to change it to spite him - but he doesn't have a lot of money spare to go to court.

Anyhoo R wants to take his kids on holiday -he is Irish and wants them to see his homeland and ExW says he cannot take them out of the UK - no reason given except that she doesn't want him to.

He can't insist as she will just say nothing until the day before they are due to go and then pretend one of them is too ill to go - older one has asthma so it would be easy to invent an attack he would never know any different.

But he really wants to take them away- what should he do?

btw - there is no suggestion that he wouldn't bring them back or anything so that's not the issue.

I believe that legally he can take them out of the country for up to 4 weeks without her consent.

Would suggest he write her a letter proposing dates etc, if she still refuses I would go to a family solicitor and ask them to write to her.

I am an exw myself and it really pisses me off when the kids are used as weapons.

The problem is that she would agree and then scupper it at the last minute. He couldn't force her unless he took her to court.

It has occurred to him to tell her they are going to Cornwall then just take them to Ireland. Don't know if that would get him into trouble though. She is the one who pulls the stunts usually and gets away with it. He never does as he doesn't want to hurt the kids - he reckons one of them needs to put the kids first.

He would prob be best going to court. Families need fathers could help. He could self rep.

I think so too and have recommended the FNF lot but he wouldn't check them out - thinks they are extreme like FFJ.

YOu don't need a passport to go to Ireland, do you?

So how would she know?

there is NO point in going to court.

If a mother is going to stop it, she is going to stop it. By whatever means she has to stoop to.

I think you do actually need one, I think it has changed again.

She would know when they got back and then all hell would break loose, I guess.

OK, even if you DO need a passport (and I'm still uncertain), there is absolutely NO WAY you would know.

Passports are not stamped. Against policy.

I ASKED for my little one's passports to be stamped coming back from France and they refused (same with Italy) against EU freedom of travel.

And they were, at the time, both under 2.

So, passports in hand, in EU, the mother wouldn't be able to tell where the kids had been.

Just checked.

you DO NOT need a passport for travel to Ireland (North or South) and children under 16 do not need Photo ID.

oh interesting, thanks... however he couldn't ask the kids not to tell her -that would never work.