I need to....

[onlyone]

DH left three weeks ago, leaving me and dc 2.75yrs old.

As he seems set on shacking up with new woman ( very good family friend) I am screwed. I want to vent and scream and shout and thump her smug little fac in, I want to paintball her enormous tits till they are black and blue, I want to call her the dirty little sluttish whore that she is, I want to tell her husband - who is currently blissfully unaware of proceedings but I can't, shall I tell him all your little secrets and god there are some major one that could come out,lets see how intuitive you are now you are not phoning me for information about him, treating me like your friend and stabbing me in the heart.

If I do that the only person who will suffer is my darling dc, who will be spending time with her and her two children in the future and will always be the outsider. I have to trust, this deceitful whore who will be looking after my dc and know that if I did and said what I really think it will all go wrong.

It is just not fair - my thoughts for my dh are equally violent and foul, so not just blaming her- it takes two to tango.

Just had to vent here, not as good as punching the crap out of her but better than nothing.!

Not sure why you are not telling her husband what is going on. Isn't it all out in the open now your dh has left home?

Can see why you are not screaming and thumping. Might as well hang on to some dignity. Remember, no one can humiliate you but yourself. So far, sounds like you are looking ahead to your dc's best interests instead of sinking into a pit of self pity and I have to admire you for that.

Good luck. This is a horrible time of your life but it will pass.

am sim position...hubby arsing about with younger bimbos, etc.
What i do when i want to slag the bitch off is, think of Jennifer Anniston. Know this sounds weird but when Brad shuffled off th angelinas bed, Jen kept shtum...remained dignified, even though her heart must have been breaking. She has come out of this the goodie...Ang, complete utter bitch. Also looks like Jen and Brad touchy feely again...one in the eye for Ange!!!

So sorry this is happening to you.

Sounds a shite situation. You may need to buy a punch-bag and stick a picture of her to it so you can release some of that anger.

Hard to believe now, but one day you will look at them with pity, or even better, no emotion at all.

They deserve each other. You deserve something much better

Sorry to hear about your heartache.

Check out excellent article in todays Sunday Times style section, "Don't take it personally", which basically says its his problem to deal with, not yours.

Sounds like you're being very dignified

You do deserve better, you are obviously a wonderful person.

sorry, but how the fuck can you not take it personally???

Woah no need to swear.

That was the name of the article BTW, its more the content that was relevant.

Onlyone appears to be acting dignified which what the article was saying. Read it and you'll see.

sorry about the swearing, but it just makes me so angry that men feel they have the right to treat us this way.

thanks!

I maintain a dignified silence most of the time , the occasional snide comment comes out but nothing like I posted.

I am usually such a calm (sic - boring apparently) generous person with my time and energy and to have this raging anger and hatred deep inside me is so alien.

DC is my priority and for that and only that reason I stay quiet.

Haven't seen the husband and really do not have the energy to confront that issue. I have a relapsing degenerative illness that requires time, energy and planning to keep me functioning and that is my priority.

Does not stop the hurt and rage that is seething in side me. Never ever realised it was possible to hurt this much.

trust me...it is possible!

It is silly for newspaper to say don't take it personally. Of course it is personal.

Of course it is natural to feel anger. Also grief, confusion, disgust and all sorts of strong emotions. But Onlyone, it sounds like you have the moral highground. Your h and ow have broken 2 families. You will not have to live with that sort of guilt.

My friend was in a similar position 15 years ago. Her husband left her with 2 young children. She went back to college, picked up her life and made a career and a life for herself. After some time her husband came crawling back, saying he wasn't happy with the other woman. My friend refused to have him back and said to me "It makes me happy to think that he's miserable."

You reap what you sow, don't you?

Sorry but " I want to paintball her enormous tits till they are black and blue ". Lol !!
Rant away, its a harmless way of getting rid of the anger. And far better to remain dignified.

I know, childish... but her boobs are huge - she went up to an N cup when pregnant and is usually a G/H!

Have recently been paintballing and got one on my slightly daintier sized assets but did it bruise, never seen colurs like it!!

Writing it down relieves some of the tension and makes me smile briefly, but then I think of another equally awful way for her to suffer. I do not think either of them have considered the consequences and whilst I am being "calm" on the outside, when the husband finds out - the fireworks are really going to start.

I know it is going to get worse before it gets better.

Childish , no, completeley understandable and very funny too !

Hang in there , it gets better honestly. I spent hours ranting on here , i spilled all his horrible secrets and called him every name under the sun , each post was full of swear words and i think i made up a few new ones !

I also kept a journal, ranting and raving in that about what a pair of twats they were ect, sounds childish but really helped. And re making her suffer , in a way she already is isnt she, her own familys going to implode by the sounds of it , shes ended up with a cheating arsehole and clearly lacks any morals or decency. You wouldnt swap would you. Plus, as you say, shes got enormous tits !

Go for it, rant and rave away and take the piss all you like , it wont last long and is a harmless way to releive your anger .ps Why cant you tell her husband ?

I'm really sorry for your situation, it must be hellish but I don't feel comfortable reading your extremely violent language, I'm afraid.

I just felt I had to say that. I hope that you will feel better soon - again I am really sorry you are going through this.

onlyone, I for one am very comfortable with your language.
This is what an internet forum is for, venting to protect those who could get hurt in real life.
So, if it makes you feel better, go for it!
and sorry you are going through this. My DH left me 4 days before xmas 2007 with our 1yr old dd for a 19yr old tramp.
It does get better, honest.

This is just talk - I am an extremely non violent person, never hit anyone in my life and unlikely to start now.

the feelings of violence towards someone who I considered a good friend are quite alien to me and to be honest need to come out.

I would lose too much if I did hit her, my job, reputation, dignity and expose my dc to untold harm when he spends time with dh and her - so I am not stupid enough to follwo through.

Does not stop me thinking it though and it is as if these thoughts pop up out of nowhere.

Well had better go and prepare supper - back to reality...

I understand that...it just disturbs me to read the words.

If I were you I would write them down on paper, then burn it. The internet is a very public place and people reading these things might be inspired, I suppose, or encouraged to act out those things.

But I don't have the right to stop you posting them - they just freak me out a bit, that's all. To hear a man say things like that would be really unacceptable, the bit about her boobs etc.

I do hope you feel better soon...have you anyone IRL to confide in?

I do have a great family and friends supporting me but again not always appropriate to discuss that with them.

Here is anonymous and I can say what I like. There is a reason behind the boobs bit from her past though.

I am sure there are quite a few wronged husbands/male partners around who would like to do the whole James Bond ( Daniel Craig) sitting tied to a chair naked scene, with someone swinging a weight at his nether regions, to someone.

I defy anyone in my position, to say they have not had at least one violent thought towards their partner or the other person involved.

It is so alien to me and my normal character but writing it and burning it is not the same as someone else acknowledging even anonymously how you feel.

Okay I will just leave you to it. Your thread title doesn't really prepare people for what it contains, so I was shocked to reas what you had written as I hadn't anticipated it.

I'm with you on this one Onlyone - I felt (and still occasionally do feel) murderous towards OW and my DH, mainly for what they put my DC through, the distress and emotional upheaval caused to them, by two extremely selfish, arrogant, self entitled individuals. Never felt a rage like it - it's hard to put into words.

My DH has and is still apologising and making it up to all of us and I am hoping that if ever we bump into OW, I will have the strength and dignity to walk on by