How do you deal with the lies your ex tells people about you?

[NoSmoke]

..because, tbh, it drives me mad

The lies bullshit he tells his family and friends usually manifest through projection - he'll tell people I've done to him what he's done to me.

All his relationships seem to be based on lies his told/tells, for example one of his male friends was going through a access battle through the courts to see his dd. Once my ex found out about this he told people I was denying him access to our dd!
No doubt my ex and his friend really bonded over this but it's a lie. I could go on...and god knows the lies I don't know about!

It seems like a lot of guys do this to women. Is your ex doing this to you? how do you deal with it? I go from not giving a damn what he's saying to his hapless family and idiotic friends to suddenly remembering a lie he's told or contemplating lies he is probably telling people and becoming incredibly angry. Aaarrrrggh!

How do you find out about his lies? Someone is telling you, yes? So what about when they tell you, laugh, a great big belly laugh and say "Another lie? He wouldn't know the truth if it came up and smacked him in the gob. I don't know how he gets away with it!"

tbh, if someone tells lots of lies people generally know it, so I wouldn't be surprised if people didn't believe him anyway.

Yes Hecate, I believe most of his family and friends know he's s liar but so far no one's admitting it. I think they almost enjoy the drama he creates. If someone reveals one of his lies to me and I of course deny it, the general feeling is that they don't believe me. Bias I guess. SO annoying. I generally don't care what people think but he's been doing this for 5 yrs now!!

"Oh, he's at it again is he? Honestly, if he said good morning to me I'd have to check my watch before replying!"

Just be dismissive without trying to put the truth. Give the message his lies are beneath you and you see straight through him. Act like you all know he's a liar. You don't need to convince them of anything.

I know you're right and I manage to feel like that most of the time but occasionally it gets at me. I don't know how he keeps all his plates in the air tbh; he's really not that bright!

The worst of the lies are the ones ex-h and his family have told my now grown up son from that marriage. They have told him that when he was 5 and broke his ankle cartilage that I never took him to the hospital, the truth is that I came home from visiting relatives to find that he could not weight bear on that leg and took him to hospital to have an x-ray and he spend 4 weeks in plaster He obviously does not remember it well, and they have fed him a cock and bull story and he now believes them. He thinks I was a bad mother when he was little. The truth is that his father was a shit, and now they have lied to him, and he believes most of what they have told him.
I have explained to him the truth, but not much I can say or do about it, unless I want to keep on going over old ground, and really it is exhausting. I know that I was the better parent, he was a total idiot. His family are all passive aggressive game players, and my grown up ds should know better.