How do i get over him?

[AliceInJimJams]

We have been seperated for 2 1/2 years and still I miss him.
We have a jokey relationship where we have a laugh and discuss the basics. He calls me most days to "chat"
I see him once a week when he see's the kids.

I want to move on but Im finding it impossible.

I have no real advice as it is so hard to get over a relationship when he still has to be such a big part of your life...

it did take me 4 years to get over my ex and start dating again... i have now met an amazing man who I adore and he adores me, which i never thought i would have.. would it help to try and distnace yourslef a bit from him although i know it is nice for the dc if you can get along...

is there any chance of you getting back together?

no way of getting back together. In short he's a tosser. We have a love hate relationship.. We either get along really well or fight like cat and dog. He was awful to be with. The only thing that was good was the sex!

I would like to meet someone new who has simialar aspirations for life etc. Just seems like the only people who are interested in me arent my type. Have been chatting to a nice guy from plenty of fish but im being a bit cautious.

Stop the 'chats'. Get out more.

I find getting out really difficult. My mum has saaid she will have the kids one night a week so Im going to start trying to socialise more with friends and go to the cinema or try new resteraunts.... even just go for a drink in the pub.

Other than that I have the kids all the tiem.

Do try- I'm sure it will make a difference, but i appreciate it's not easy.

That's curious in a way. You don't have a chance to get over your ex because you're the children's sole carer. If only he were a nicer/more reliable person, he would look after the children to give you a break sometimes, thus giving you a chance to move on from him quicker. As it is, you're tied to him being your only adult contact because he is not all that nice or even a bit useful, so you can't move on. Doesn't make sense, does it!

I would suggest you start creating a new life for yourself. Start connecting with your friends more or try to make new ones through maybe an evening class, hobbie, interest. Invitations will evenutally come and your social network will grow. You may not meet the man of your dreams but it will certainly increase your chances.
You need a bit of distance from your ex, if you make room in your life for another man chances are he may appear.
Word of warning...having your ex as a close friend may threaten other men interested in you. In my case it ended a love affair when my new man saw how close I was to my ex, and I lost out.

just reflecting on the fact that you probably get on now better than the average married couple! And you don't have to clear up his dirty socks. Savour it!

Why can't your ex have the kids every other weekend?

There have been issues in the past where I dont trust him have them alone so we agreed that he would have contact with them here. I wouldnt have an issue for him to have them overnight here and me go elsewhere but he wont do this.

He see's them most weekends usually on a sunday for a few hours here. Sometimes he will take them out but more often than not he stays here with them and usually plonks them infront of a dvd. not the best parenting but I glad he is still having contact with them. I think he struggles with the language barrior. He gets along better with ds I think because he can speak more. Dd is quite whingy too which he hates!

bigboobymama i joined slimming world last week to try and make some new friends and also regain some confidence. Im quite enjoying the diet too! Im also going to start enjoying my nights off when my mum haas the kids and go exploore where I live. I havent really got to enjoy the area surrounding my house and it has a wide selection of resteraunts and pubs and also a cute little cinema all within walking distance.