When it comes to really big decisions I generally find myself paralysed with inertia and incapable of acting decisively - and I really hate that about me.
Am pondering divorce.....but just don't know...There's been no affairs on either side or anything like that...But we have a virtually non-existant sex life (which doesn't bother me, but bothers him - he is bitter and resentful about it). I can't work out whether I have a low libido or whether it is just him that I don't want to sleep with. Suspect I have a fairly low libido but his general attitude and behaviour combines to switch it off completely.
Dh also spends a lot of time being irritable and moody - critical and complaining.
And there are lots of things about him that grate on my nerves and make me quite angry.
We don't have any real emotional closeness. No warm physical contact (hugging etc). I have discouraged this because dh thinks a hug is an open invitation to a shag.
Dh is also wedded to his work.
On the plus side - he can be amusing and interesting company.
He can be considerate sometimes...
The children love him and find him fun to be with.
Materially we are very comfortable with everything I and the children might want or need. That might not be so if divorced.
I'm not blaming him although it sounds like it. I suspect that he is equally as frustrated and ambivalent about me.
The upshot is that if we were a childless couple, I would feel pretty game to go ahead with a divorce. But with children - I don't want to compromise their childhood by removing them from their father, and not being quite so comfortable financially as a single mum. So how do I make a decision?
Don't suggest to I talk to him - I have tried many times. He has no 'emotional intelligence' and really isn't very clued up that way.