Handholding/tissues/etc, anyone? :(

[BertieBotts]

Just had a long talk with old friend/possible new man and he says that he doesn't feel he can have a relationship with me, because of DS - he is worried he will get attached to DS and then if we split up it will have a bad effect on DS and he doesn't want that on his conscience. He is only 22 so I guess taking on a relationship with a child attached is a big thing. Just a bit sad about it really He is a lovely bloke and we have loads in common, but most of all I can't believe he cares more for DS' feelings than his own father does, and he's barely even met him.

I always said that if I only had that one week with him that it would be worth it, and it was - I will be ok I think, just feeling a bit gutted about it now.

Awww sorry Bertie

He sounds like a lovely man.

Look after yourself.

Sorry to hear that Bertie. Sending you a virtual cuppa. I'm sure you'll find someone who's worth the wait! Enjoy your DS, they're only little once

awww, BB

you will look back with nice memories and enjoy it for what is was

don't try and force something that isn't right (for whatever reason)

you will meet lots of nice blokes in the future x

Bless you, hon. This is good clean hurting, though, about a nice fellow you can't have, not that weird twisted life you had with the unspeakable ex. It goes to show both that there are nice men out there, and that you have a lot of love left inside you to give where it's wanted and returned.

IN a while, it will actually be comforting to think that this man had enough self-awareness and moral courage to tell you, kindly, that a long term relationship wasn't going to happen rathe than stringing you along. 22 is very young to consider becoming a stepfather.
The greatest source of comfort will lie in knowing that you were able to be attracted to a nice man, unlike some victims of abuse who find that they can only be excited by shitheads as they have been so conditioned to expect mistreatment. Your radar's working, and there will be more nice men out there.
Best of luck.

you give lovely relationship advice, sgb

She sure does, Any.

I hope my daughter's meet a guy like her son when the time's right.

daughters, sorry.

Thanks all. You are all right. SGB I hope it will be comforting soon. It's not the first time it has happened though - am starting to get a bit worried that I scare the decent men off!

Annie you are right about it being "clean". It is almost nice in a way to be able to feel sad about it because when I was with XP I was so numb to everything that I couldn't feel any emotions at all. And just knowing that I will be ok in time helps.

Going to take DS swimming with my sister later, I promise not to drown myself

I just went out into the garden and there were pale pink, heart shaped petals everywhere. I have never noticed them before. Then I noticed that there were plants surrounding me with heart shaped leaves.

When I came back in, I had left Mister Maker playing on the computer for DS. The image that was on the screen was of a brightly coloured rainbow, with the rain behind, but a big bright sun in the corner casting rays over everything.

I know it sounds a bit woo but I felt comforted by this. I am lucky to be loved - I have DS and my family and friends who all love me, and one day I will find someone who loves me for who I am and wants to be with me AND DS. I will be okay. It obviously wasn't the right time for this to happen.

Aaah
Can't possibly add to what SGB and you yourself have written, Bertie. Just sending you some lovely thoughts - plus virtual gin & Galaxy, of course!

Thank you Grace

In 10 years you'll look back, think of him and smile. Trust me, it feels nice (eventually).