affairs

[suzysuzysuzy]

Good morning

so new kid on the block as far as mumsnet goes - but old pro at being in a barking mad relationship...

but here is what i think is QUITE an interesting question

IF you discovered your DP was having an affair, would it be easier to bear if he demonstrated his heartfelt remorse with a MAJOR gift to you?

I am talking about SERIOUS jewellery, sports car, first class holiday...

Reason i ask, is that i have known couples in our circle which this is the case (and just so we are clear on my standpoint - it always ends in tears) BUT i have also known other couples where there is NO remorse shown - and guess what?! that ALSO ends in tears...

it surely must be better to get some sort of "monetary value" (the bigger the better) to walk away with

What do you think?

fab...4

but you have common sense, so when you apply it, that bumps you to a 7

Cheeky.

Teachers used to say I was very bright but had no common sense.

Your 7 -does that mean my head rules my heart more than my heart ruling my head?

So you're asking would I rather have a cheating husband or would I rather have a cheating husband who treats me like a high-class hooker?

yes, fab, when you let it

I am a heart girl deep down though but give myself a talking too if my heart is trying to run away with things.

I used to be totally ruled by heart (well maybe a 3) but then I wised up -->

Lisa "my DH could not buy back my love, respect and trust if he had an affair, no matter how big and lavish the gift, the 3 things I want and expect from him (love/respect/trust) all cost nothing."
Yes and those 3 things are the most valuable and irreplacable.

Emotions pass, though. So it's much better to rely in a mix of logic and emotion when making decisions.
I'm not opposed to people falling in love and I'm quite aware that plenty of heteromonogamous relationships work fine and make the participants happy, but this is due to luck as much as anything else.
It's the fact that so many people insist that life is 'meaningless' or at least less good, without a heteromonogamous relationship, that leads so many people into utter misery as they try to make or maintain such relationships with people who either don't want to know or are complete arseholes - that's what I object to.

...posters writing on the well known site Mumsnet agreed serious gifts were NOT the answer (see p11)...

sgb...I absolutely agree

Perhaps you should try being a WAG if you want gifts after affairs?