My husband was always difficult, controlling, jealous and often quite scary. He never hit me but used words to undermine me. I knew he gambled and thought he had probably been with other women during our marriage - if it wasnt for the children I would have left him. Last year he became interested in a girl who worked for us whom I had taken under my wing when her boyfried dumped her. He took her out to dinner, bought her presents and 'joked' about moving her in and taking her on holiday. I told him it was unacceptable, however he was persistant and wouldn't listen so I had to tell her that it was finished. I told him what I had done and he became angry telling me that he was going to take her out and discuss it with her. The following day we were in our shop and I was so angry about the situation I told him - don't f*k with me and I won't f*k with you. He grabbed me in an arm lock and repeatedly punched me almost breaking my nose. The police were called and he was arrested and cautioned. I decided I'd had enough and went to see a divorce lawyer. When I told him he immediately went out and bought me a new car. This was all shortly before christmas, so the legal proceedings slowed down and christmas was a very quiet time; we were still under the same roof but not talking much. Between Christmas and new year his father died and I got the first bill from the lawyers; It was staggering and the petition hadn't even been issued. During the first week of January I cancelled the divorce proceedings and thought that somehow I'd find a way to cope;at the same time calculating that our youngest son would reach adulthood in 14 years - on his fourth birthday my husband fell sick, a week later he was in hospital - and in just under two weeks he died of cancer, having been diagnosed just four days before.
He didn't leave a will so I went back to the same firm of lawyers I had instructed for the divorce, this time to carry out the probate.
since he died I've discovered quite a few things - he took a holiday with his ex wife whilst I stayed at home with our DD ( a month before that he had accused me of infidelity ). He was highly active on extra-marital dating sites in the latter part of last year and over the years had kept extensive notes on my behaviour!
I'm feeling a bit freaked by the almost 'bizarre' outcome of the series of events and the fact that I actually don't miss him. Are there any other widows out there who feel relieved?