Aftermath of blazing row

[OhExpletive]

He's apologised, rightly in my opinion because he overreacted and behaved terribly in front of our son. But I'm still hurt and angry and scared and not ready for it to be ok yet. I think he thinks I'm sulking. If does this thing where he's said sorry and what more do I want from him etc.

That should read 'he does this thing'. Posting from phone.

thing is with men is that even when they know they have done something wrong...they will not admit it...will make it out to be nothing and cannot understand why you still hold it against them...wankers basically

I don't know. Maybe I'm the one overreacting. But he's got such a vile temper and when he loses it his manner's so threatening, that it leaves me unable to just be ok about stuff afterwards. An apology doesn't undo anything. It.s just part of him I really don't like but it's him and can't be changed.

I don't know. Maybe I'm the one overreacting. But he's got such a vile temper and when he loses it his manner's so threatening, that it leaves me unable to just be ok about stuff afterwards. An apology doesn't undo anything. It.s just part of him I really don't like but it's him and can't be changed.

Furthermore, an apology doesn't mean anything if the behaviour that he has apologised for is then repeated. Which, from your post, I think it probably is. Words are meaningless, it's actions that count.

What do you want? You are saying he is abusive. He is very unlikely to change.

I don't for a minute think he can change. Maybe once or twice a year we'll have a bust up which involves him getting really angry and yelling in my face. I too have a stinking temper and don't always help. But since having a child I have much more control, because my parents were shouters and it really upset me terribly when they rowed. He doesn't see the problem - people get angry, they yell, they make up. I don't think they generally yell in one another's faces if the other doesn't back down. And I'm not backing down in front of DS, that'd be a worse example. It's a stalemate, always has been. Life's fine for months on end then once in a while this rears its head and bugs me again.

that apology was not an apology at all

it was designed to shut you up...and demonstrate that if you carry on then you are the one at fault

devious twat, I say

He's made an appointment to see the GP. It was completely unbidden, so I guess that's a good thing. I have also pointed out that had our car been working I'd have taken the little one and gone. He told me I was being self-righteous until I pointed out that if I'd called him up, as a friend, and told him about that situation he'd have told me to do just that. I think it's registering that he can't just have his own rules when we argue about something.