If I wanted to check out correspondence on a Blackberry

[adviceasappls]

where would I look, please?

Usual story: dh stopped being affectionate, started buying new clothes, taking extra care over appearance, going jogging most nights, actually brushing teeth, won't let password-protected Blackberry out of sight even in shower/loo.

Could all be explained away innocently, but I'm feeling discomfitted. I'll only have one chance to ask to see it, as thereafter trust will be broken/stuff will be deleted, etc, so I need to know exactly what to ask to see/look at.

I know there's an internet explorer icon, so I'll check history and bookmarks, and I know there's an email messages icon. Anything else I should look for?

Got to go play happy families at the beach now, but will be back this evening. Please help.

Perhaps you should sit him down and just say to him what you've typed here.

What SoupDragon said. And remember you don't need proof. It's a marriage, not a trial.

On a practical note, smartphones are little computers. Things get filed according to their file type and owner settings. After you've talked, maybe you could post here how it went.

Going by every other woman who has ever posted on here about similar concerns, the only way of geting at the truth was to "snoop". Confronting them about any fears will have them removing any evidence quicker than you could blink.

Instincts about this kind of theing are rarely wrong, sometimes snooping is the only way of getting answers, not lies.

depends how he uses the blackberry, if it's mainly for emails, it should open up straight to the emails and you can scroll down.
see if you can get to the sent file, sometimes that gets missed if he has deleted any dodgy stuff.
Cant really help with any internet stuff, just the history and what you have said.
good luck, be prepared for what you might find.
I hope its nothing. x

Click on the email icon an dhave a look through his "in-box". Then you need to press the menu button and you may (depending on the set up) be able to access all his emails folders. "Sent Items" etc may be there.

Feel a bit bad about advising you but I would snoop if I were worried. I would stress though that you shouldn't snoop unless you are absolutely prepared to deal with the potential consequences. That's the problem with looking for evidence - you might find it.

If you confront him, he will lie to you and then delete everything so you never get to the truth.

Sod being mature and sensible, snooping is realistically the only way you get to find out what is really going on.

Not sure about blackberrys though. Remember to check his sent messages as well as inbox, multimedia files (pictures) and call history. (Experienced in liars, unfortunately).

Is there any way you think you can get the password so that you can look, without having to ask for him to let you in? If he has incriminating stuff there he will do all he can to hide it, unless he is sort of wanting to be found out.

If not, and he gives you access, remember to check text box too, which is about 5 along from left - and scroll down for earlier messages.

None if this will be easy with him looking over your shoulder, I would ask him to let me in then leave me in peace or go up to bedroom and maybe have a pen and paper nearby if you want to write bits down. I found I was so nervous checking on H blackberry, that I thought I'd forget stuff, so I wrote bits down.

b careful what you do.i found a memory stick today when i was collecting hubbies dirty clothes and found a memory stick.or lady boys,so i hope you dont have any nasty shocks,my hands are still shaking from it allapparently my hubby has a think f

sorry glich there.a thing for ladyboys am shaking and in shock

How will you get into anything if you don't know the blackberry password? I don't know how to use a blackberry, but DH used his to cover his affair and it was always password protected etc.

Instead, I would snoop in other ways. A blackberry is a business tool and it is therfore protected by the password etc (?) Could you follow him jogging/in car/does he take the blackberry with him and use it to make calls? My DH had flowers for the OW on a credit card bill as well. Try and think of other ways to find information and try and get proof. My DH denied it until I had absolute proof. Even when I had absolute proof, I gave him the opportunity to admit it by just saying that I had suspicions etc, but he denied it until I gave the hard evidence and he could not do so any longer.

I will warn you that even if you strongly suspect, as I did, and you think you can handle it, it is a TERRIBLE shock if you are proved right. It really knocked me about I consider myself to be resilient.

Oh wornout that's awful are you ok?

wornout hope you are alright

hello,just shocked and kind of kicked sideways.knew hw upto something,havent told anyone in rl,,,
he has had a pretty bad porn addiction for years but the shemale and vids hed mits to you know uuurrr what has taken it to a new dimension,he is begging me help him am confused just dont want my kids to be affected

we went to relate last year and i was living on my own with dd7 and dd8 but we tried to give it another go