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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

yes i might go to jail for accessing hubby emails to ow

20 replies

self · 21/05/2010 22:09

i am in the procees of divorcing my malignant narccist husband two days after he left i opened his emails and voila i got the password correct as it was the same one as our credit card i forwarded them to my box. Now he is accusing me of having stolen property and he is geeting an injuction to ask me to delete them . i have refused as for two years they have been plotting on how to get my daughter and get rid of me. i feel these emails might assist me in getting full custody and he has a mental history too. All he needed to ask for was a divorce.
If i dont delete them am i messing my chances in court. today he he hit me in richmond park as he was spending time with our daughter and i was trying to get him to settle an agreement so i can move on with my life, he had been texting the ow when i took his phone and i gave to him and i drove away.

OP posts:
CrankyTwanky · 21/05/2010 22:11

Ooh blimey.

Have you spoken to your solicitor?

Sorry I can't be more help.

Meglet · 21/05/2010 22:13

If he hit you have you been to the police?

MadamDeathstare · 21/05/2010 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 21/05/2010 22:15

Richmond park is lovely though , isn't it?

Original poster
self · 21/05/2010 22:20

i dont know what to do, i thought i wait to go to my solicitor on tuesday also my life is complicated as i need international custody as i have found a job in another country. he has also dismissed himself from his pyschiatrist i am not sad about the affair i just want to move on with my daughter as this guy is not stable he is also a solicitor in the law firm in the city so he is full of threats. Everyone is asking me to have a heart of a dog, i cant do that.

OP posts:
Original poster
self · 21/05/2010 22:24

he does not live with us anymore and he is pressing me to give him power of attorney so he can sell the house as he can't he says spend summer staying with his friend which is not my concern, he has given me two weeks to pack and go but be back in two months so he can see our dd.

OP posts:
CelticBanshee · 22/05/2010 00:33

Well, obviously you don't need to be told that under no circumstances is he to get power of attorney

Send the emails to a new a/c set up by yourself, print hard copies and save them to disc too.

Don't speak to him with regards to the house / custody until after you've met with your solicitor, write down everything he has done/said and bring all correspondence to the solicitors with you

File a report with the police detailing his assault on you

scurryfunge · 22/05/2010 00:39

Hully you are very naughty!

kittya · 22/05/2010 00:43

Does Hullgully live near Richmond Park? I was there myself today

olcecado · 22/05/2010 00:52

ok, first things first, keep a record of all the threats made against you by your ex.

Make sure you report the assault to the police - even if you do not intend to press charges.

refuse to deal with him directly and certainly not in person without a chaperone.

Do not fight or argue with him in front of your child. Despite what has happened between you, he is still her daddy.

As to the emails- keep copies by all means. However, you have hacked into his email, regardless of how easy it was to do. If he has any sense, he will have changed the passwords or set up a new account- but that is not the point. The courts are now taking a dim view of this sort of behaviour.

Hang on in there - it will get better, although it will be worse yet. Trust me- I've been there too and have escaped the other side with a law degree.

Good luck and keep your chin up.

Original poster
self · 22/05/2010 14:12

thank you olce,i have had a quiet day with no threats from him.
celtic thanks i don't want to give him power of attorney but will have to come back and sign sale papers for the hse.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 22/05/2010 14:16

are you from uk? where was your dd born? i'm sure you know that you'll need his written permission to take your dd away from this country?

dignified · 22/05/2010 14:17

For a start, its unlikeley hes got the money to start whinging to the courts about some emails , it will cost him thousands and no one really cares. And if he does, your married, of course you knew his password , and he knew yours !

Why on eath would he really get an order for you to delete them, you can obviously copy it, its an empty threat. Either way, if youve got them, good on you.I did the same and was threatened in a similar way.

I dont know how familiar you are with narcs, but expect lots and lots of threats, most of them wont materialise. If he is mentally unwell there wont even be a question of custody so dont worry about that.

Personally i wouldnt have ANY contact with him , did he hit you in front of your child ? Have your lawyer deal with any agreements, thats what theyre there for.

Divorcing a narc is horrific, theyre not normal and they love to get one over. Perhaps go over to the NPD thread, expect every phone call, conversation and email to be recorded and for other stuff to be used againt you.

Youll get lots of good advice on the npd thread.

dignified · 22/05/2010 14:24

Just noticed your comments about signing papers for your house, is this being done via your lawyer ?

Buy yourself a cheap mobile or a dictaphone, record all conversations and phone calls by putting one phone on loudspeaker and recording with the other. He probably seems a domineering scary charecter, but underneath all that hes a coward, they all are.

If hes a soliciter hes probably had his fair share of dodgy dealings too, have you got anything on him ? Tax evasion ect?

I suggest you ring womans aid if he has been violent to you for some much needed support. He doesnt get to give you two weeks to pack up and move out, who the hell does he think he is ?

Whats your soliciter said so far ?

giveitago · 23/05/2010 11:50

Print off the emails - then see your lawyer re whether they need to be deleted or not.

RunawayWife · 23/05/2010 11:58

Print out the emails
Report him hitting you to the police
DO BOTH NOW

Haliborange · 23/05/2010 12:04

"If hes a soliciter hes probably had his fair share of dodgy dealings too, have you got anything on him ? Tax evasion ect?"

What? I'm a solicitor and really at at all dodgy. I really don't think I am unusual in that respect.

But yes, report the assault. Criminal charges really don't play well with law firms...

Nancy66 · 23/05/2010 12:10

You are NOT going to go to jail for hacking into the emails of this man. He is talking absolute shit

If people were jailed for reading another person's emails then half the population would be in prison

bran · 23/05/2010 12:12

Haliborange, I don't think that dignified was implying that solicitors are dodgy per se, but rather that he, personally, is dodgy. Working within the legal system is a morally responsible job, individuals need to be able to regulate their own behaviour and standards, but he probably doesn't think rules apply to him so long as he can get away with it.

dignified · 23/05/2010 12:51

I wasnt saying all soliciters are dodgy !
I was saying that if, as the op says, he is a narcissist he has more than likeley screwed people over, and bragged about it and kept evidence of it too.

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