I need advice (for my friend)

[Tomatefarcie]

I have this friend, let's call her Tracy.

She has a 6 year old son with, let's call him John.

They were together for 12 years.

In February he proposed to her and they had been trying to conceive for 18 months.

2 weeks later, he announced that he was breaking up with her, that he has a new girlfriend who he is moving in with, therefore Tracy and their son have to leave John's house asap.

She has nowhere to go, is still very shocked by it all, and they told their son about the split about 2 weeks ago ish.

She has managed to land herself a job, but is still looking for somewhere to live. She is really working towards remaining amicable with the arsehole, for her son's sake, and has agreed to his dad coming over for the weekend, as he was demanding overnight access. She said she would make herself scarce so he can enjoy time with his son and make a fuss of him. (She has also said yes to all his demands, ie wanting to be there to put their son to bed etc, but the twunt wouldn't even turn up, leaving their son in tears and missing his daddy -more than once).

However, John is demanding that their son comes over to his new girlfriend's house. Tracy has not met this girl, John has only moved in with her recently, and everything is still a bit of a blur for her, so she asked for more time to get used to the new situation.

Now John has the major hump, he said he would cut all financial help until she lets the boy go to his girlfriend's, and that she can take him to court if she wants.

Does she have a leg to stand on? She doesn't want to ban him from seeing their son, far from it, but just doesn't want his new girlfriend involved just yet.

She is in a state, has tried to remain brave throughout the whole thing, but is slowly but surely breaking down because of his blackmail. Oh and his girlfriend rang her up completely drunk, talking a load of crap on the phone, so Tracy is even more scared of letting her son go there.

I really want to be there for her, but my knowledge of the legal system in this matter is non-existent.

Can he kick her and his son out like this? Can he cut all financial help till the courts sort it out? Can she do anything to prevent him from taking his son to his new girlfriend so soon?

Any advice very gratefully received.

Is this about you- or your friend?

I don't know the answer to this but as non-marrieds she is at a disadvantage.

I think he has a duty to provide financially for his child under the CSA but how long that would take to sort out, who knows?

If it were me and a man behaved so abominably, I would a) not want his money b) not let my child stay with him and his new GF unless I was assured she/they were responsible adults and c) not give in to blackmail.

If it is his home nad shehas no joint financial responsibility for the mortage etc etc then yes, he can ask her to leave.

I know this isn't going to help you or your friend, but I do wish that women would think longer term when in a co-habiting relationship and realise what can happen if the relationship breaks down.

They have no right to anything, which is why marriage is still the best deal from a legal point of view.

Suggest she goes to the CAB for advice.

here is some good advice from direct gov - with some good doc donloads and a couple of links

I've had a quick read of that link and it basically shows what I thought- unless they have a joint mrotgage or tenancy agreement, your friend gets nothing. All she can get is what she bought- such as furntiure etc etc- if it is split. How this would work without going to court if he refused, is unclear and probably not worth the aggro anyway.

If he is named on the child's birth certificate then he has joint responsibility- if not, he doesn't.

No, it's really about my friend. I'm happily (well most of the time ) with Dp and we have 3 DDs. We've been together 11 years and still not married, which does my head in, but that's a whole new thread altogether!

Custardo, off to read your links, thanks!