In brief, I have a group of friends I have known since school (we are all late 30s). I am the only one with children. We have all kept in touch, and when we all lived locally used to see each other weekly - over the last few years since I moved away this increased - or decreased - to every couple of months. However we still email, phone and facebook in between times.
Normally when we meet up for a weekend, it will be for sat and sunday ie we meet up on Sat evening, either go out for drinks, or one of us will cook, or whatever, then we stay the night at the house of whichever one is hosting, and on sun, leisurely breakfast, go shopping or do stuff, then home late afternoon. it takes up most of the weekend hence why we dont do it that often now I have DCs.
Anyway, this weekend 3 of us (me, A and B) are going to a school reunion. the reunion is local to B, A is about 30 mins away by car, and I am about 1.5 hours by public transport (I dont drive) . I had assumed the weekend would pan out as above, and have organised child free time accordingly (which is not easy for various reasons).
A and I are staying at B's house. B called me yesterday and was telling me she hadnt heard from A (although A had told me she was coming). B also said she and A had been invited to other friends 2 weeks ago, and A hadn't gone and been very evasive about why she couldnt, then given different stories etc as to why she couldnt make it. B and I suspected this is because she is seeing someone. A tends to follow a pattern of being very secretive, semi-losing contact with us for a few months, being 'busy' every time we ask, then it all goes wrong and suddenly she is asking to come round, meet up etc. and so the cycle goes on.
So B and I though this was what was going on....also she has put stuff on her FB about a man, but not said anything to us directly.
this morning I get an email from A saying she's still coming but she (probably) wont stay the night at B's as she's busy on Sunday. I replied and said that we had hoped to see more of her, but she obviously had somewhere better to be (bit cutting I know)
I then get a reply from her saying she's going to the cemetary (its a family anniversary this week which I wasnt aware of) and how her family bereavements are more important than me, how unreasonable I am, and in essence that I need to grow up.
Normally I would talk this over with B, but she cant take calls at work so am on my own!
I do feel a bit bad, but am still not sure this is the whole story - the cemetary is 5 mins from Bs house (35 mins from A's), so would surely make more sense for her to stay over? also A has been off work all week on annual leave.
I didnt know about the anniversary. I would have approached it differently if I had, but I don't think I'm being childish in what I said...or am I? Part of me is wondering whether our friendship has run its course.......and it's making me wonder whether I even want to go tomorrow or not now. Should I just let it go? Do I need to apologise (btw, I never apologise so that would be a first...maybe i am childish )