ex's new girlfriends

[Magicmayhem]

for some reason my ex refuses to talk to me on the phone so I have to make do with his rambling emails full of his moans... ie
can the kids have a bath before they go to his, as they don't have much water...
can I feed them before they go as they can't afford to feed them....
can I buy them new clothes... designer clothes... as he pays maintenance... £200 mortgage, and £100 per month which works out 12.50 per child per week...

anyway his girlfreind has started to ring me.. and she really bugs me.... I emailed him asking any correspondence to be between us after all, I was never married to her and they aren't her kids, even though I appreciate that she does care for them when they stay over everyother weekend... she has sent me (another) ranting email..

is this normal practice.. how can I stop her ringing me about arrangement for the children... or am I being really petty

It depends on the tone/intention of the conversation with her. She might be doing it as he's bloody useless and doesn't get round to sorting arrangements out, so she does it as she knows what plans she needs to make. In which case I'd say go with it and be grateful you aren't talking to him or receiving his rambling emails.

I read on here a lot that ex's have fed the new partner all sorts of lies about what their ex was like. At least talking to her direct means that you and she can build a relationship and he won't be able to play you off against each other.

On the other hand, if she's a ranting lunatic who is rude to you just ignore the call if you have caller id.

Well, TBH, you just have to say it outright to your EX.

I am a stepmum and always leave discussions between DH and his EXW to them - after all they are their children. I actually feel very uncomfortable talking to her as she is always very cold towards me, but civil. Regardless, I understand how you feel as I have also been divorced.

Perhaps she is trying to get to know you a little bit and build a bit of a bond and if that is the case then perhaps their relationship is going to be long term.

Be polite but assertive and just tell him that you would feel more comfortable talking to each other direct about "your" children, that way there is no miscommunication and the people that need to make the decisions about the children's welfare are the ones in the loop. I.e you and him.