How can I help my upset friend?

[JimJammum]

My friend is desperately unhappy and I long to know some good advice that will help her.
She has been ttc for over 3 yrs, but her dh is anti another child (they have one together). He is older with another child from a previous relationship. He has refused to take the ttc-road to ivf etc. She has been very upset over his refusal to take it further and now it transipres he is considering a vasectomy. She has been clinging to psychics etc that have lead her to believe she will conceive and now feels foolish.
She says they are flatly refusing to talk about it - when she is upset, he tells her to pull herself together and so, I guess, she doesn't feel able to explain her feelings.
I worry their relationship will suffer, that it will fester away and she will blame him always for not being more supportive of her desire for more children.
What advice can I give....anyone been in a similar situation. I think they need counselling, but I don't think he would agree. I think at the least she needs to find a way to come to terms with her feelings so she can move on with her life positively, as she does have so much to be thankful for and maybe counselling can help.

My advice (though it will be crap as I am in a no nonsense mood) is that they both agree not to discuss it for x amount of months and then they talk then.

She needs to say why she would like another child, he needs to explain why he doesn't. They both then need to decide if it is a deal breaker.

Does she want his child or would she be prepared to walk away to meet someone else to have a child with?

Is he willing to risk losing her over it?

It is really hard.

I wanted another baby, DH didn't. You can't have half a baby so someone always has to give in.

Having lots to be thankful for does not help in a situation like this . It is like saying what does that beautiful, rich, slim woman have to be depressed about? Some people feel what they feel and outside issues have nothing to do with it.

No, re your last comment, I know. I didn't mean it quite as flippantly as it sounds. Maybe just want her to see some positives, if she can, in her life with her 1 gorgeous child. It is tricky because I belong to the "only one" club and happy about it, so I don't feel her burning need for another child; all I know is that she deserves to find some peace about it all.