Sorry, I really had no idea where to put this. I know that posters on this topic often have knowledge of psychology etc and I wondered if anyone could help.
My mum and I are getting quite worried about my sister. She is 19 and ever since she left school a year ago, has become more and more withdrawn and possibly depressed - she can't be very happy at least, she does nothing all day and has no interests and never seems to see any friends etc.
As a child she was always shy - I was outspoken which probably didn't help, but e.g. if we went to a cafe, my DM would get us to speak to the cashier and order our own cake or drink or whatever, to try and get my DSis to come out of her shell. She used to refuse to speak to them and go without instead.
Every question you ask her she says "I don't know" or "I don't mind" - even simple things like "Would you like a cheese or tuna sandwich?" when DM asked about this she says that she literally has no preference between two options nearly all the time and so doesn't know which one to pick. In conversation she says that she is talking to someone and suddenly realises it is her turn to speak and panics and doesn't know what to say. This doesn't seem "right" to me - in a conversation I am listening to the other person's response and thinking about that while simultaneously constructing my reply as I think up questions etc or what they have said reminds me of something. DM agreed with me on this (I don't know about others? I suppose I just took it for granted that everyone did this.)
At school she had a few friends but they were all very quiet, like her, and they very rarely went out shopping or bowling or to the cinema or to each others' houses or anything - literally only about once every few weeks would they meet up outside of school. She never went out drinking etc, which I know is a perfectly fine choice and isn't really a concern, but it is atypical of most people her age. After school she lost touch with everyone and now has very few friends, in fact she never meets up with her friends at all. She comes to see me and DS about once a week. We get on great and when she is with me, she is funny, intelligent, animated, relaxed, she is great with DS. I'd say we were close and I'd call her a friend as much as a sister, but we have never really discussed anything emotional or been able to cry with each other etc.
But if you see her in a social situation with strangers or even when she was with her friends from school, she looks awkward and uncomfortable, she doesn't know what to so with her hands, she twists her feet and just generally does not appear relaxed.
We hadn't really been worried about her when she was at school, yes she was quiet and not your typical teenager, but we just thought that was her personality, but now she has left school she is not doing anything at all and we are concerned because she is going to need to find a job or something at some point. She is supposed to be looking for a job at the moment, but she gets as far as getting the application form and then as soon as it asks an open ended question she is stuck and finds it very very difficult. She has been offered help from various sources and she just won't take it. She lives at home with DM and DM has been told by various people "Oh just take her somewhere and get her a job" - but she can't exactly go into a job interview with her! But also being aware that she can't stay claiming JSA for ever, and worrying that the longer she leaves it, the harder it is going to be for her to make that first step.
I don't think it's laziness that she isn't getting a job, because she has never been lazy, always been more organised with homework etc for example than me, it seems to be something else stopping her - I don't know, fear or just not knowing how to do it, but she won't seem to accept any help.