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Need ideas for fun things for me and DP to do in the evenings...

26 replies

Birdistheword · 17/05/2010 14:42

apart from the obvious!

We have 19mo DD who goes to bed at 7.30pm ish and we have got into a rut of eating dinner and then slumping in front of the tv, me on MN, him dozing at the other end of the sofa.

We get a babysitter every few weeks and go to the cinema which is lovely but i do get soooo bored day to day.

What do you get up to?

TIA

OP posts:
DrunkenDaisy · 17/05/2010 14:48

Play 'come dine with me' at home. it's fun but we get v competitive though.

BottleOfRum · 17/05/2010 14:50

We got a Wii for Christmas. I know its marketed at kids, but we have great fun playing on that every night! We spend hours having tennis/bowling/boxing tournaments, and are in stitches most the time. It really is great fun.

We also signed up to 'LoveFilm', where they send you DVDs via post. It makes all the difference if you spend your evenings watching a film together that you both really want to watch, and both have been looking forward to.

BessieBoots · 17/05/2010 14:55

Sex

BessieBoots · 17/05/2010 14:55

Duuuuuh.... Just read the first sentence of your OP... Unless the obvious is scrabble?!

Poledra · 17/05/2010 14:57

The film thing's a good one - it's probably the only time DH and I sit and have a cuddle on the sofa (no laptops!). Drink wine, eat crisps, dissect film afterwards. And no DD3 trying to get in between us!

ChickensNeedOpposableThumb · 17/05/2010 15:03

We make a nice meal and just chat. This time of year, its lovely to sit outside with a glass of wine and dissect the day.

Birdistheword · 17/05/2010 15:06

lol@ Bessie.

I think the first thing we need to do is turn the bloody tv off unless there is something we actually want to watch.

OP posts:
Geocentric · 17/05/2010 15:06

When the DCs were younger and we got into the same sort of rut we found this worked: choose one night a week to be "date night". On that night set a nice table, light a candle, have dinner with TV off and enjoy each other's company.

trefusis · 17/05/2010 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BertieBotts · 17/05/2010 15:21

Board games and card games can be fun. It sounds sad I know! Or something on a games console - doesn't have to be the latest one, the playstation 2 still has plenty of fun two-player games, and they are quite cheap second hand. If you are competitive, keep a scoreboard over more than one night. Or add forfeits or favours

Or how about doing something creative like painting or scrapbooking or making something together if you are into that. Start a little project!

Get a box set of a series you haven't seen, or one you loved when it was on originally and watch it all at your own pace.

Definitely try turning the TV off unless there is something specific on. Do you get a TV magazine?

I think it is nice to have some nights where you do just veg though and watch whatever crap is on TV and read/go on laptops separately. But agree it is boring to do that every night.

Also, have people round in the evenings for drinks, and/or go out separately (no babysitting fees!) as well as having your cinema trip. Could you afford an evening class? Or join a book group or something?

hubbabubbababba · 17/05/2010 15:25

you may laugh but me and dp quite enjoy doing jigsaw puzzles together with some music on, you find yourself talking about all sorts of things because you are sort of distracted with something else, does that make sense??

Saker · 17/05/2010 15:26

We have a candlelit bath together most nights. We don't share the bath as there isn't room unfortunately, but we do share the water to be a bit more ecofriendly, and the one not in the bath sits on the toilet lid and talks to the one in the bath! It's a nice way to talk over the day.

A massage is nice too although it can be hard to stick to just massaging .

TopsyKretts · 17/05/2010 15:30

Cards? Buy a poker set.

Scene It boardgames are fun. Get a boxset of a comedy series or drama you love.

Birdistheword · 17/05/2010 16:04

Love the idea of getting a boxset, i heard that The Wire was really good, have any of you seen it? Any good?

So many good ideas here, am going to go back and re-read in a min.

We do go out seperatly, him to do his hobby and me to visit friends, but i have found myself trying to be out as much as possible lately as it is just so boring at home

I need to sort out a hobby for myself, have no specific interests really apart from socialising with my friends.We have hundreds of photos on the laptop, i might print some off and try and find some nice albums

OP posts:
InmaculadaConcepcion · 17/05/2010 16:14

We worked our way through The West Wing and now we're doing the same with Bones and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. I've also had The Wire recommended.

DH and I also have an ongoing Backgammon tournament and enjoy Rummikub.

Organising a photo album is a good idea!

lazarusb · 17/05/2010 16:41

Hee hee- last time we had a romantic, kids free night planned- he cooked, wine, candles... I stayed up till midnight building Lego!

BettyButterknife · 17/05/2010 16:47

DH and I take it in turns to cook, and we've recently got competitive in a ridiculous Masterchef fashion. Not the food itself, but the daft presentation. I made a curry the other night and presented a trio of chutneys on individual teaspoons

purplepeony · 17/05/2010 17:05

TBH it sounds as if you need to take a good look at your marriage in general.

If you each pursue your own hobbies and friends, and have nothing to say to each other when you are together how does that bode for the future? Boredom is a catalyst for affairs.

I think it's sad that you even have to ask this question to a load of virtual strangers.

what did you used to do together when you first met?

lilymolly · 17/05/2010 17:12

purplepeony thats a wee bit harsh.

I have recently gone through a break up with my dp of 8 years ( currently getting back together), as he felt like we just sat on seperate sofas watched tv and did not talk, so the very fact that the OP is asking for advice is a good thing, and you sound a little smug.

It is very easy to fall into a trap of once the kids are in bed, sitting doing nothing, especially when you dont have any babysitters near by like me.

I am so exhausted after a full days work, and looking after 2 children under 5 that its all I can do not to fall asleep by 7pm

PassMeTheKleenex · 17/05/2010 17:18

Purplepeony - that'a bit harsh!

I can see where Bird is coming from, as work/kids/the house/hobbies - aka LIFE - takes up time, and it's easy to forget the couple you are and/or make specific time to do things together without squandering that free time. To suggest it's the tip of an affair-strewn iceberg is to be a leetle melodramatic. I bet most people recognise this way of life too.

Asking the question is not sad - she's looking for inspiration. Picking up what they used to do when they first met may not be an option, as their life is different now - not least because of the baby.

Bird - we play Scrabble. If that doesn't keep the home fires burning, I don't know what will!

megonthemoon · 17/05/2010 17:49

DH and I do the box sets and it's fab - doesn't usually require the attention span of a film (although the Wire does!) and can just do a single episode or have a marathon session if you're in the mood. We loved Six Feet Under, and also enjoy Desperate Housewives, Nip Tuck, Mad Men, 24, Prison Break.

Fantasy life planning can be fun - part of DH would love to pack it all in, move to rural Spain and run a small hotel where he'd cook lovely evening meals and run photography courses. We often talk through what it would be like, what we would do, things we'd try, where it would be etc. All just for fun, but it gets you out of day to day life, and scheming together brings you closer together. Plus one day, if we talk enough, we may convince ourselves to do it!

Cooking together is more relaxing than if one does it - share the chopping, preparation, both do the tasting, hang out in kitchen with a glass of wine while doing it. Somebody talked about doing jigsaws and how you end up talking about other stuff - we find the same happens when cooking together.

We also often look through photos of holidays from before DS - remind ourselves how unknackered beautiful we once were and how much fun we can have as a couple.

Another silly but fun game - we put the iPod on shuffle then have to guess the song and band from the intro! Gets competitive if you keep track of who gets them first

catwalker · 18/05/2010 09:34

The Wire is absolutely brilliant. DH bought me series one at Xmas and over the next few months we worked our way through most of 4 boxed sets. A word of caution though - don't give up after the first episode which I watched and then sat there thinking, 'what the hell is all the fuss about? Best TV series ever? - that was crap'. It's a really complex series, which, if you make the effort to get into is immensely rewarding. It's written by novelists so is almost Dickensian in its depth and detail. There are no truly good or truly bad characters and the writers are quite brutal when it comes to bumping off characters you've got really involved with. Watch it with sub-titles though as the Baltimore street dialect is very difficult to follow.

It brought dh and I very close as there was so much to discuss after each episode and we used to text each other during the day in Baltimore slang which was very funny and made me feel very close to him. Though before we got to the end of series 4 a deranged and violent man turned up on our doorstep early one morning to enlighten me and my children in very graphic terms about dh's affair with his wife.....so it sort of lost its gloss after that.

fortyplus · 18/05/2010 09:37

Go out for a walk - peferably to a pub! dd will sleep in her buggy - and if she doesn't then she'll be tired and have a lie in the next morning. Well... either that or be really grumpy but the nice walk will make it worth it!

Sassybeast · 18/05/2010 16:03

Huny out some of your old albums and CDs - the sort of stuff you listened to when you first met, gigs that you went to etc and chill out with some music and memories

squilly · 18/05/2010 16:06

We play Mario Kart...makes us soooo competitive. Then we do the obvious to even out the aggression

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