Do you ever feel insecure at start of poss new relationship?

[littlestmummystop]

I'm trying to keep a lid on it.

But met someone last week, had 3 dates in a weeks, slept together on second date and it was amazing.

Usually I wait at least a couple of weeks but chemistry and attraction was v strong and I went for this.

Now I just feel I want some kind of reassurance! I feel like I'm 16 again..

I am not calling or texting all the time but I want to..

Does anyone else go through this in a possible new relationship?

Sounds normal to me.. enjoy the feelings.. it's lovely

okay, thanks! It's been a while since I felt like this.. so wondered if I'm massively insecure or not !

Having sex on date 2 is quite rapid! How far had you gone on date 1? Was he comfortable with such speed or did you pounce upon him?

littlestmummy
Perfectly normal, I'd say. No matter how cool we think we're gonna play it, we never do!
Sleeping with him has probably fuelled your need for reassurance. For what it's worth, try to relax and let him do the chasing.

enjoy it

I met a man and had sex with him within the week. We got engaged 2 and a half months later, married after 18 months and have now been together 7 and a half years. I dont think there is anything wrong with having sex really quickly. (We were both only 18 when we met to)

ok, so he actually ISN'T ringing now.

Bugger.

Basically the journey so far has been, quick drink and chat in pub, went to see a film, made it 20 mins in and off we went back to my place.

I woke up to find my solid wooden superking sizebed had moved literally from one side of the room to the other.

I have only ever slept with a handful of people in my life. It really was just had an absolute chemistry boom moment. In fact, I didn't even give it a nano seconds thought! This has never ever happened before.

One date since. He still seemed keen.

Now I'm tapping my fingers and trying to be philosophical.

F*ck.

When did he last contact you?

When did you have the last date?

Has he contacted you yet?

Here's a little piece of REALLY GOOD advice. Do not contact him. Even if you think "well he might have been in a car crash", "he might have forgotten my number", "he might be dead." None of those apply.

If you can be really really strong and wait for him to contact you, the pleasure will be a thousand times stronger than if you text him and he sends some bland text back because he's busy at work or something. I know this is almost the most impossible thing to do sometimes. You can always justify it in your head, but don't do it. Retain the upper hand and he will be intrigued. It's so important in the early stages of a relationship...it is game playing, but hey, nobody wants to look needy, right. A good friend of mine has been with her man for 4 years and still waits for him to text first!

Now when he does contact you, you will feel great. If he doesn't contact you at all, he is just not that into you. It's harsh, but true...and you don't want to be forcing him into a conversation. Men are weird. Do as I say, and you will always have the upper hand. Think about him all day if you want, but don't contact him. And if you can't bear the tension, just write a load of stuff down about how you feel (password protected of course!) It will make you feel a bit better.

Hope he calls soon tho...it's a lovely stage of a relationship although characterised by anxiety and obsession. Remember that this is normal!

Hmm, I think that advice is good for many men, Fizzfiend, plus not returning texts/emails etc too quickly. If they think they've got you hanging on their every word some blokes get a bit bored, and/or think they've got you right where they want you. BUT when I got together with now-DP i realised this advice was bollocks in that situation. Being a kind, friendly and straightforward soul (and assuming that others are the same) he just felt sad and assumed I wasn't interested if I didn't get back to him quickly about meeting up.

OK. I got dumped. Quite badly.

It was an online date, he reposted his profile so it was all updated and on the main board two days after we slept together. That's how I found out he's not interested.
Then I got a message: sorry am too immature for you and you have child, so not interested.

I never ever have one nightstands. I thought this was a 'big thing' and the chemistry was a bit shocking and amazing.
So I don't entirely regret it ( well surprisingly at all ), but my ego is badly dented and I wonder about my intuition a little..

My friend told me a story tonight about a man who dumped a girl after date2 ( she'd slept with him date 1) then he never contacted her again. When she finally caught up with him she said: 'It wasn't very gentlemanly for you not to contact me again' and he replied: 'well it wasn't very ladylike for you to sleep with me on the first date.'

Bloody hell. Do men really think like this still ?

Hi OP

that's a bit upsetting! Are you okay.

It's unfair but I think yes the stigma remains about swift sex with a new man.

I suppose whatever they do or say to the contrary, men do want to be kept waiting.

Not to suggest if you had not slept with him he would have stuck around, but it's likely he might have been a bit more intrigued.

Anyway hope you are ok

he sounds like an utter w@nker. I'm sorry but to send you a message "sorry am too immature for you and you have child, so not interested" - he knew you had a child beforehand right? and what a shitty way to end something, even if it had just begun

don't feel bad about sleeping with him on date two AT ALL. and be glad you had great sex at least. Imagine how crap you'd feel if it'd been a damp squib affair.

And be DOUBLY GLAD he's not keeping you on the go for more of same while being too immature for a proper relationship which it sounds is more like what you want (at least he got that one right)

god, men like that

good luck, I'm sre you'll find someone more suitable (and I just hope the sex is as good )

Yes don't mean to sound nasty but men really do think like that.

He's still a wanker tho.

Only wankers still think like that. If he was half-decent and liked you too he would have just been counting his blessings. Better to find out these things sooner rather than later (that new man is idiot) and at least you got some great sex out of it. Get back on that horse