Be honest, anyone happily married but no longer fancies husband?

[IamAllwaysUnreasonable]

Anyone no longer fancy husband but are happily married? I feel as though I am if that is possible. Maybe a bit sad deep down, but no way would I want to sack him I love him so deeply he is my hero. He has put a bit of weight on and it has changed his face a lot. I just dont think phwoar any more, does nothing for me sexually. Anyone else feel this way?

Fuck ! It must just be me then

Nope, there's me as well.

DH has also put weight on and I seem to have gone off sex. Not sure if the two are connected but don't feel phwoar either. Know I need to make more of an effort but don't seem to.

How are you sposed to make more of an effort though? Sex should be a pleasure not a sure ??If its not there its just not there. I put loads of weight on, more than 6 stone, and then lost it. Husband dint seem to care, would like sex with me whatever. I wish I was the same but just nothing. I dont think it is hormones or medications because i do fancy other men. I dont ever ever act on it, but I can meet real life men{not off the tv} and think phwoar, they can really turn me on. Its such a shame that I dont think that about husband. I get the odd glimmer now and then, but not enough to initiate sex unfortunately.

chore not sure

I stopped fancying mine as he put weight on. Just went off him.

But we weren't happily married. Now we're getting divorced and all the weight has dropped off and he looks gorgeous...on the other hand so do I as I lost weight too..well, not gorgeous, but better.

Not recommending this as a way of fancying your hubby again...just an observation. Our sex life was poor anyway due to the unhappy marriage, but it wasn't helped by the fact that he looked better dressed than naked.

Are you going on holiday or anything...something that he might want to lose a bit of weight for?

Na, he is always having a go at it, but like most people puts it all back on. He used to run 1/2 marathons which helped a little. But still was overweight. I am getting concerned about his health now because the weight is around his middle which is supposed to be an indicator of increased risk of heart attack. Like most people, when he is slim he is gorgeous, but not now. It is so frustrating knowing I have a gorgeous man lurking beneath the fat. I am very supportive, when he wants to reduce carbs/ fat whatever, I provide him with balanced healthy meals etc. We recently moved house and he stopped running but has been on about aroute he has seen on the map so hopefully will get motivated again.

Do you think you'll fancy him if he does lose weight?
I am in a similar situation, but my husband is not overweight, I just don't feel like sex anymore, with anyone. He, on the other hand, wants it all the time. It's causing alot of tension in our relationship, as I don't want to encourage him in the slightest by even a hug that he thinks is some sort of foreplay! So we've lost all intimacy which is making both of us unhappy. Neither of us want to end the marriage, we still love each other very much and we have 3 lovely children.
I don't know what the answer is, I wish I did, but I'm relieved to know it's not just me.

5er If your sex drive returned would you want it with your husband? My problem is that I have a sex drive but for other men, not my husband. It is purley his weight. I have to be careful because I used to be huge at 19 stone and then I lost 6 stone and went ok and then I have put loads on cos of 3 pregnancies so I cant talk. BUT he isnt bothered by my weight, he always wants it. I am a hypocrit I know but I just cant fancy him like this. His head looks huge because of the fat on his face ewwww. And when he has bad hair days also its even worse. And he wears these stupid football shorts that make him look like Noddy. I do say stuff but them I feel like a nag. I know I am being rotten but |I cant change how I feel inside

I have been married 4 years in December to my husband. Together 5 years. I love him dearly and i do fancy him loads. We dont have sex alot as i think PND that i suffered from has lowered my sex drive (i didnt have a high one to start with)

But i do look at him and think phwaoooor as he is gorgeous (to me) he has the most sexiest smile i have ever seen, gorgeous come to bed eyes and is fabulous in the sack too

But i just dont have the sex drive there, i want it to come back i seriously do. I mentioned it to the nurse a few months back about it but i also have pain in my left side when we do have sex, She just basically told me to get a bottle of wine and get pissed and then relax and then do it with my husband.

I bought a gorgeous set from Ann Summers last week which i havent worn yet, but i think tonight once, DS2 is in bed (DS1 is at MIL) then i might get my outfit on surprise him.

I think if you dont fancy your husband, you have to really try to work at your relationship to help get back that spark.

I feel my sprak for DH is there and still burning but i dont know if i can say the same about him, I tell him i love him daily but most times he just says back to me 'More More'

(we have this thing where when we say love you, the other says love you more more)

But he doesnt say 'Love you' as much these days, its more more.

Ive been with mine for 18 years and I cant conjour up the spark. Just dont fancy him, I cant make myself fancy him. he isnt particularly good in the sac, but ok, well used to be. I am sure a lot of it is chemistry, when yo ufirst meet them it is so exciting, but wears off after a couple of years. By then the rest of the love has embedded itself. i adore him as ahusband and Dad and would not ever change him, just not very shagable to me anymore. He has still got good hair, going a bit grey, but not balding. But there is this middle age spread and I just cant see past it. Its eamon Holmes, if he lost weight he would be quite nice, but allways looks uncomfortable and porky. Oh dear.

Did the outfit have the desired effect then Cheeky?
x

Did the outfit have the desired effect then Cheeky?
x

Oh god I could have written this thread.

I feel exactly the same. I love my DH, he is a good husband and dad and I don't want us to split but I just don't really fancy him anymore.

I would say my sex drive has vanished as we never do it but I do lust after other men which makes me feel really guilty. He doesn't know this. He just thinks my sex drive has gone.

I really do wish that sometimes, I had someone that I looked at and thought "you are hot and I want you now."

If anyone would like to pass on any advice, then please do!!!!!

how about a holiday, a week or so away from him?

Our sex life is getting going again after a long lapse. What made my sex drive increase was starting to do a lot more sport. Maybe something for you 5er?!
Unfortunately it's also made me wish I fancied my DH more, so I do see where you're coming from, OP. You're not alone.

Eamon Holmes, in Noddy shorts with a big head? Oh dear, I can see how frustrating this is for you and also how unattractive you're finding your partner at the moment.

I also went totally off sex with my DH, now my exDH. Found him really repulsive but a lot of it was to do with the terrible state of our marriage. He was a heavy drinker which I found disgusting. He looked beyond ugly when he was drunk.

Have you considered telling you DH how you feel? I think you'll probably have to sugar-coat it a little to protect his feelings as best you can. You can't really go on like this can you?

Alternatively you could always try closing your eyes and imagining he's someone else? This got me through some unpleasant sex with my ex and actually [imaginary] sex with Russell Crowe was quite do-able .

I don't fancy my partner that much but in every other respect our relationship is pretty good. Our friends think we have one of the best relationships out of almost everyone they know because we don't argue, we enjoy doing the same things and we are respectful of each other. It is perfect - apart from that. I suppose it is the elephant in the room except I have admitted this to him (in a roundabout sort of way). As far as he is concerned, I am with him and we (sometimes) have sex and that is better than the other options (not having sex/not being with him).

He is quite practical about it, as his feelings for me are not dependent on whether or not I necessarily fancy him that much. He has been with women who fancy the socks off him but - no fireworks at all for him!

But then I hardly ever have fancied anyone anyway and the few times I have it has always been someone unavailable or unsuitable in other ways (not good with children).

I guess it all depends on what your own priorities are and what degree of compromise you are prepared to make in a relationship (and I do think there has to be some).