am divorcing - wedding anniversay in a few days.

[schmontilidrop]

basically thats it. Am divorcing. Its not so bad. have worked though a hell of a lot of anger and 18 months down the line things are a lot more amicable.
i do not regrett my decision to divorce him at all.

howver, on friday it would be my wedding anniversary. Just thinking about it makes me cry.
It shouldnt do but it does. I just feel sorry for myself that i made such a huge mistake all those years ago
and sorry for myself for what happened and how hurt i got and how damage was done that i will always have with me.

im not normally so introspective.

but its rubbish. tips on getting though the day without crying greatly appreciated.

Plan.

Do something you wouldn't normally do.

Day out, lunch out, beauty treat, day in bed.

Hope it isn't as bad as you think.

Oh schmon, I'm sorry to see that this is you (I'm one of your followers on the Thriller thread btw).

I think Fab's advice is good and I've not got any of my own (other than "Be kind to yourself") but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

ill be at work.

it will be bad.

last year was horiffic. was on this bloody stress management course. which i thought was about work stress. ( was on it with whole organisation when i had only started the month previously)
it was actually about personal stress. and writing letters to yourself about your feelings and drawing time graphs of how you feel about things in your life.

spent the whole day in tears unable to even talk with the trainer thinking i was weird. noone at work knew anyuthing about it all. it was horrible.

its just surprising how it makes you feel isnt it. even when it was something you wanted.

i just think of myself aged 22 . young, naieve and totally in love and how that all turned into shit.

its just sad huh

thanks. il be ok. just haveing a rubbish day/( see thread in chat) which is making a rubbish week even worse.. then i realised what date next friday will be.
and just adding to the rubbishness........

Take the day off?

Phone in sick?

It totally is rubbish. I second the idea of taking the day off and making PLANS. For my first one, I booked the following day off work, and had a massive divorce party. See if you can rope in some girl friends for a big pain-relief session, doing whatever it is that you enjoy.

Our decree absolute was actually due on our wedding anniversary. He offered to get the date changed, which was the only time he'd taken my feelings into account!

Feel for you.Am also getting divorced and our anniversary is in July and I'm dreading it. I'll be taking the day off.Like you I'll be filled with the idea that I made a mistake. But at that time, you were in love and it was right. People change and grow apart, it is so sad though.

Agree with the other posters about not going in. Haven't planned what I'm going to do yet, so will watch this thread and hope you post after Friday to let us know how it went.

SK

cant take the day off. have just retured from a week off, then had a day off last week beacuse of sick child.

have been invited to this big 50th party but am not going. because everyone will be happy and drinking and that, on that day will not be a good combination for me. PLus its a bring a partner as well. which everyone will do except me.

grace - that was nice that he changed the day. it just kind of takes me a bit by surprise that im so upset about it. Didnt think i was any more. Spoke to my mum about it, who has been divorced for about 15 years and got married last weekend ( she of thriller dance bridezilla hell!) and even she confessed that she still feels a bit upset when its her first wedding anniversary.

nice to know its normal to feel like that.
work then eating chocolate and an early night it is the best i can manage i think.

Do you work with other people who know it's your anniversary? I'd be tempted not to tell them, unless you get upset and then would tell them on the day. Would you be able to at least leave a bit earlier than normal?

If you don't work Saturdays, try and plan something nice for that day instead and think about it whilst you're in work?

Hope it works out.

How's it going? Do you think you're going to be okay? Thinking of you!

im not feeling too bad actually.
Am going out for a few drinks thursday so will be hungover fri. and ive got a new patio table and chairs being delivered friday as well.
maybe the build up will be worse than the actual event.....

Good for you
Firday's weather forecast is brilliant! You can lounge in the sun on your new patio stuff (drinking water, of course) - and maybe get someone round to help you top up your hangover after work.

That sounds like good plan. Glad you're feeling more optimistic. Take care.

Hope to hear from you after Friday!

My ExH left 7 years ago and it hasn't been until this past year that I suddenly realised our anniversary had passed and I hadn't noticed it! Felt like a HUGE weight off my shoulders. Agree with other posters do something GREAT! It's good to put fun memories into these dates to take their power to upset away.

im feeling fine today.

build up and realising todays date was coming was worse that the day ( of course it is only half 9!)

have new garden furniture being delivered when i get home, plus of course, should be getting hold of the wedding thriller dance video.. and thats enough to make the most miserable person laugh.

Hope the rest of your day went well!

SK