am so angry

[yellowishpurple]

with xh tonight.

we still own property together but are selling one of them. The buyers want to come and have a final viewing tomorrow before they sign the papers tomorrow so we've been at the house (it was let to tenants until a few days ago) tonight tidying up.

He decided that the front room needed repainting because otherwise the buyers wouldn't buy it. When i tried to tell him the buyers had seen it several times in the condition it is in he went nuts and started screaming at me that i'm a stupid bitch and a fat c**t and a useless piece of shit - all in front of 6yr old DD.

I couldn't leave because he just would have followed me and continued to scream.

I fucking hate him. when i left, three years ago, things were meant to get better. he spends most of his time out of the country (coming back for DD birthday once a year - which he thinks makes him a good dad ) but he's been back this time round for a few months and i spend all my time stressing out and fighting with him over money (he hasn't worked since i left him and thinks he has a right to come to me with his hand out all the time because i ruined his life by leaving) am so sick of dealing with his mood swings and complete inability to deal with any kind of stress.

left him at the house in the end up a ladder painting the outside of the house. idiot.

He sounds completely unhinged. Mabe you should avoid him at all costs and he can see dd in a conytact centre. Your dd dosn't need this.

yeah, he sounds like a waste of oxygen, for god's sake woman, you don't actualy give him money do you?

you shouldn't deprive yourself and your daughter just because he is pathetic and useless - he is meant to be a man and provide for her

don't engage with him, that screaming abuse thing he does will harm your daughter

he wouldn't bother to see her if i did that - and because of the property we need to keep it somewhat friendly. not that he's very good at that - except for when it suits him.

the money thing is a very long story but appreciate it sounds ridiculous.

I think you need to decide whether you want him in your life as well as dd's still. You don't need him in your life, his relationship with dd is separate to a relationship with you and to be honest I wouldn't want to be in a business relationship, re the houses, with him! If he's not working he may well be racking up debt and if you are financially linked with the houses that will impact you.

Either sell the joint houses and walk away from him or if you can buy him out.... I would want to protect myself and dd's future asap!

Oh my goodness I relate to your post OP.

I am separated from ex h and in the process of getting a divorce. Trying desperately to keep it amicable for sake of dc. He has nowhere he can see them, lives in one room, so he comes here most days. I don't mind this at all, but last night he told me that I need to go away for a night so he can have a night with his kids, I said I didn't think this was appropriate as I wouldn't feel comfortable with him staying in the flat while I wasn't. Cue screaming at me calling me a cunt, a slag a fucking bitch who was trying to keep him from his children and he would do what he liked when he liked and so on and so on.

He was unfaithful to me repeatedly, pawned our all our electrical goods and anything else of value, including engagement and eternity rings, was drunk almost every night for eight years, would regularly spend or gamble his wages away within two days of recieving them but I am a "selfish cunt who has ruined his life" because I left him in the end.

It just beggars belief.

steelfairy i know what you mean. utter nightmare. And the more you try and do the decent thing the worse it gets, gives them a sense of entitlement and enables them to behave like tossers because they get away with it all the time.

But at the same time, the only ones who suffer are the DCs so you try and find a way to deal with it so that they grow up knowing their father but realistically eventually you have to draw a line knowing that their father will walk away because things didn't go his way.

i don't know, feels like a lose, lose situation at the moment. Glad you managed to leave him. Maybe one day they'll grow up, or maybe not!

Someone said to me yesterday that I can ask the mortgage company to buy my half. Does anyone know if that's true?

Issysmilkbottle, you're so right about the business relationship thing. we have one property together (after the house sells) that i have offered to sell to him for virtually nothing but he doesn't think he can get a mortgage so won't consider it. And i'd buy him out tomorrow but it's a flat with a short lease and the freeholder is refusing to extend the lease which means i have to get solicitors etc involved to get the lease extended and it all just costs money i can't afford to spare. And he won't sell it as it is because we won't get much for it until the lease is extended. The only thing i can do is get solicitors involved to make him sell it but if i do that he'll get on a plane and go back to oz (where he's from) and it will end up costing me a fortune in solicitors bills. so at the moment we're stuck trying to be joint landlords. Not fun!