We met back in September and there was an attraction straight away, we'd have liked to have gone out for a drink but he was due to spend six weeks working abroad the next week so decided to wait until he got back. The whole time he was away we kept in touch via text and facebook several times a day.
His flight landed at 5pm and 3 hours later he was with me in the pub, we couldn't wait to see each other. We ended up spending the night together, and in a conversation the next morning decided that we would be friends but not have a relationship - I'd just come out of a long one and he had been single for a long time after getting hurt badly.
Our friendship has continued since then, we do sleep together once a month or so but mostly go out as friends or watch a dvd with a take way, always lots of cuddling and he kisses my hair when hes holding me etc, lots of intimacy. We laugh together, have lots in common and want the same things out of life. During this time i've continued to go on dates and live my life, he hasn't been with anyone else.
I knew I was was falling for him and told him in February that I could continue to be his friend but could no longer sleep with him as I was having trouble seperating the two things, which he has been fine with. We are still very emotionally close although I have distanced myself from him recently - self presevation if you like.
I got a message from him yesterday saying that he had been thinking. He said that he saw his friends with their partners and how happy they were and that he wanted that, and that he wanted that with me. He said he'd realised that he'd never felt so comfortable around anyone, never been so honest, and that he saw me as more than a friend. But, that he wasn't ready for a relationship, he said he wants to sort his life out before committing himself to me, he wants to be 100% sure that it was right for him. To be fair he has just recently lost his job and had to move in with family, and its been a long time since he has had a relationship with anyone although has a huge social circle and plenty of female friends. He could have dated a number of woman but has never wanted too, he wanted to wait until it was right.
He is a lovely man, friendly, generous, sweet and he would make me happy and I know I could make him happy too. He said that its only not seeing me lately that has made him realise how much he misses me. I don't think its about sex - he knows thats off the menu. Hes always been very honest with me which I appreciate.
Ive waited 6 months to hear him say he likes me and wants to be with me. I don't want to wait any longer for him to make up his mind (I can't see the big deal about going on a few dates with someone but it obviously means alot to him), I feel like he is deciding whether or not to settle for me. How long am I supposed to wait? Indefinately??
I text him today and said that in my opinon if you meet someone thats right for you, you just know, you don't need months to think about it because something inside you pushes you forward. And, that I didn't think I was the right woman for him because it was taking him so long to decide what he wants so I was going to back off and leave him be, give him chance to forget about me and find someone special.
He replied 'Why are you telling me to forget about you? Just because I haven't cleared my head of everything that is bugging me doesn't mean you're not the one i'm meant to be with. It just means that right at this second i've still got a few things to sort out so couldn't commit to you just yet. But I never said you wern't the one, ok if you want me to forget about you I shall xxx'
and then ' Please don't think i'm mad at you, i'm not. I know you were trying to make my life easier and probably still could when i'm ready. I miss you and I didn't mean to snap. I love you xxx'
(I love you in the friend sense, we've always said it to each other)
I just don't know where I stand. I really like him, he would be great with my kids and we get on so well. I'm 28 and he is 32.
WWYD?