Should I meet up with an old sort-of-flame?

[playingwithfire]

I have recently been in touch (via email) with a man that I knew just before I met DP, didn't actually have a relationship with him but had a very intense almost-relationship and to be honest I would've if he had made a move in that direction. He is also a friend of a good friend and whereas they have regularly been in touch, when I met and fell in love with DP, and went on to have two DCs, I completely lost touch with said man.

So, through our mutual friend he mentioned that he would be interested in getting me involved in a project he is working on and we have been in touch via email about it. Really we need to meet in person to talk about things further.

I haven't told DP about any of this and I know he would get jealous if I did. Should I meet this man, in secret? I wouldn't cheat on DP but there is definitely an element of flirty-excitement about the whole thing.

Urgh, reading this back it seems a bit seedy and obvious that I shouldn't even go there but I really want to! I know I would have a really nice evening and some interesting work could come out of it.

Advice, please!

no, you daft mare

next question

AF is spot on

Hmmmmmm, let me think............

Err no.

Err no?!

Or yes, if you were absolutely fine with him doing it with another woman secretly behind your back.

Sounds like you have made your mind up to go ahead anyway.

what AF said.

Believe me, it isn't worth it.

oh , go for it, what's the worst that can happen?!!

Absolutely no bloody way!

How about if I told DP though? If he was ok about it would it be ok?

The man in question has a partner too, so I think it would genuinely be innocent. Or is it just not fair because DP doesn't know the history?

It's not innocent and you know it, otherwise you wouldn't have asked

You are only asking because you know you shouldn't do it, if it would be 'genuinely innocent' as you say you would not have posted, or suggested keeping it a secret from your DP. You say 'there is definitely an air of flirty excitement about the whole thing' - listen to yourself woman!!!!!

Ha cross posted with whatname!

Please don't do it.

errr, your username kinda gives a clue about where your mind is at !

AF, will you have a quick look at the thread I posted in mental health today, thanks.

Sorry for hijack.

ok, su

Go back to your post, if you'd have said at the start of paragraph 3, "dh knows all about this" then i reckon you'd be ok.
but the fact you thought about keeping it secret is waaaayyy dodgy!

No no no no no no no and just in case I wan't clear....

NO