To email human resources texts of ow with my dh

[self]

My dh has been shagging his trainee at work for the past 2yrs and the fool saved everything in his emails texts. I have kicked him out and i found out they had been plotting on how to get together. He asked her to leave her boyfriend and for them to shack up together. Not only did he expose me to aids as from what i can see i have been shagging also the boyfriend indirectly.
He used a company email adress. he is a lawyer and he has said he will get a court order for me to delete the emails. I have told him i dont care as its the truth.

beanlet, I disagree with you.

Each spouse has an equal right of occupation, and could obtain a civil order requiring the other spouse to give them access. That doesn't make it 'illegal', ie a crime, to change the locks, but it isn't something the OP is entitled to do, nor is it a particularly good idea.

The wronged spouse could also ask for an occupation order preventing the other from occupying the house. However, except in cases of significant and recent domestic violence it may not be granted.

I have an exh who is a solicitor and also a shit (coincedence? I think not!).

Anyway, he has done many bad things to me and our dd since the divorce and I have finally had to threaten him with the Law Society. They take a dim view of solicitors bringing the profession into disrepute and also about using their position to intimidate others (can't remember exact wording but if a solicitor is in say a car crash, his fault, they would frown on him saying to other driver 'I'm a solicitor, I'll win because of x, yz').

Anyway, the point is the Law Society can take sanctions eg suspend his practising certificate or so they have told me. In my case its almost worth it as the idiot doesn't pay any maintenance (has pretended not working for last 9m+ when was).

Something to keep in mind anyway.

If he gets arrested for the assault (as he should) on you he wouldn't be able to practise anyway would he if found guilty? Thought you couldn't with a conviction?

He's been violent towards her - she can apply for an order to keep him out. Frankly it doesn't sound like he has any investment in the marriage and isn't interested in sticking around anyway.

Okay, don't change the locks - add additional locks to secure from the inside and take all the evidence away as others have said.

Echo what molehill said btw, I work with lawyers a lot. While they don't get sacked it's funny how they find themselves downsized a year or so after they get caught in the stationery cupboard with the intern!

Keep them somewhere safe. i wouldn't send them to work but I would keep them.

He has gone to stay with a friend very far away. thank you for the advice. He has given me his keys and now says we need to sell the house at first he wanted me to buy him out which i could but the costs are to high for me to keep the house.
He says we cant divorce for another year as our daughter will lose out on some hidden benefit of his.
I am keeping the emails for a rainy day as for will i miss him no I am better off without him and that trainee deserves all his drinking problems, sex addiction which btw i found out that he was seeing a pyschiatrist for and was told to attend a group which he refused, before i met him he was in the priory for mental problems.
He is not even sorry for his behaviour he just says so what.

He souinds awful so I wouldn't want him around me but, given his personality, I wouldn't do anything to provoke him further.

As far as I am aware divorce is pretty much "no fault" now in the sense that it doesn't really matter who was doing what. I don't see why emailing his private emails to work would help you. It wouldn't mean that you got any more money and if you want to divorce him, you can, having "evidence" of an affair I don't think will make any difference.

Even without the affair he sounds like someone you wouldn't want to be married to. I think I would focus on his bad behaviour towards you - the bullying etc.

If businesses sacked everyone who was having an affair, the economy would probably grind to a halt! Seriously, this is a personal matter, even if it was someone from work.

You do have my sympathies though. What it is about lawyers, their personal lives often seem to be a complete mess?

Thanks poodie,
he said that when we do divorce he is insisting on no fault-i have said no as i want to work with the truth and the truth is adultery.

self, you really need to get yourself a divorce lawyer pronto. All this stuff about selling the house, "no fault" divorce etc is setting alarm bells off for me (I'm a divorce lawyer btw). Get onto www.resolution.org.uk to find a local family specialist.

You should get an initial free half hour and it wouldn't hurt to check your eligibility for legal aid ("public funding") first. Go to the legal services commission website, then click on eligibility calculator.

I agree with mumblechum, see a divorce lawyer.

Him saying you can't divorce for another year and insisting on a no fault divorce is complete bullshit IMO. It's just him trying to manipulate you. Don't let him!

How long have you been married. If it's under four years it's probably in your interests to wait a year to establish it as a long marriage before divorcing. Of course with kids involved normally the courts disregard length of marriage but I wouldn't bet on it.

Ask specifics for this 'benefit' for his daughter, is it for her, or for him (I'm guessing the latter).

I am also doubting the bit about delaying the divorce.

Don't listen to him.

My exh said this and my solicitor said 'no way' and to divorce immediately as when the kids are that little bit older, you will get less of a settlement because the kids are abit more independent?

That's the impression I got.

Do not delay going to your solicitor. x