A bit of a tricky one ..

[babylove2]

Ok i was going to this in AIBU but i know im not PLUS it's abit scarey in there lol.

It's my friend, i have known her for about 15 years good friends mostly chat on email everyday, dont see each other as much but always emailing.

She unfortunetly is unlucky in love, doesn't seam to find the right one. She is very pretty perfect figure

She has been in a new relationship for about 6ish months (previous relationship about 3-4 years) and she told me how much she would love what i have (dh and 2 dc) i told her she is still young there is no rush etc.

But she has told me she has stopped her pill without her partner knowing (he already has 2dc from previous relationship)

I told her it was a very selfish thing to do and that has she even spoke to her partner about kids and she said no she thinks its to early to bring it up

Anyway after long emails about me telling her if its to early to talk about it why on earth would she do this, he already has 2 children (whom he doesnt pay for) he still lives at home with his mum and he is 32!!! she lives with friends but has to move out soon!!!
I have asked all the perfectly normal questions like what are they going to do for living, money? but she thinks it will all just work out when/if she gets pregnant.

It's like she dont care, i find it horrible that this bloke may be a dad again and has no say in it.

What shall i do/say anything to make her see sense??>?

That's not right... She's going to mess up her life... If he's got two kid's and doesn't look after them what makes her think that he'll like after her child?
Tell her that if she's planing to get pregnant in this situation she should get ready to be a single mum as well...
She's just acting so stupid... I hope you'll make her c everything the way it is...

look not like

Is this for real? I mean if she wants what you have, she couldn't be off track!

I think you have probably said your piece and if you want to still be mates with her, then maybe leave it now.

It is really hard to sit back and watch people we love do dumb things but, it is up her, and you seem to have made your feelings clear.

Love is blind and foolish, and soon to be pregnant!

i'd struggle very hard not to tell her partner. or tell her if she doesn't tell her partner you will.

put this the other way around.

imagine he pretended he was firing blanks as he wanted to get her pregnant. she doesn't ever want anymore kids so has sex without condoms and trusts him....

and she has a pg unwanted to her.

would you tell her he was lying and trying to get her pg on purpose?

same thing... regardless of his past form... would you tell him she is lying and trying to get pg on purpose?

Unfortunetly thatsnotmymonkey she is for real, she is VERY niaeve and im sure doesn't even know how hard it is to have a baby let alone being a single mother!

She wants what i have but the funny thing is she just see's it from the outside like any mother knows its dam hard work!!

But from her point of view i also know the feeling of wanting a family and that everyone seams to be either getting pregnant at the moment, but i cant understand why she would do this to someone .. and i have said all this to her.

dtmsj it's very hard situation i dont know her bf at all never met him, to be honest he dont sound that great they were not long split up because when he drinks he turns into an arse, so i was to even think she would consider this now.

Anyway the damage may well be done, she emailed today asking what pregnancy tests are the best etc, i said "really, i take it you were not kiddin the" and she said only i knew and that its all she has ever wanted.

I asked her also what would she do if he left her while pregnant she said he would still have responsabilitys for the baby etc .. again unfair he never had a say in it!!