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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being over sensitive

6 replies

tomsawyersmummy · 13/05/2010 19:04

Ex H asked to split about a year ago at his request - I was devastated but coming out of that.

Due to various things I actually moved out of the house with DS while he stayed there - that was agreed, it was fine, being there made me upset.

Few months after split ex H started new relationship with someone from his work - difficult at first, but helped me start getting over the whole thing in the end.

The problem I have is that because of arrangements / picking up bits and pieces, etc I still go back to the old house occasionally and there?s always loads of signs of the new relationship - her undies on sofa / candles all over the place, etc. I?m sure it?s not deliberate as he?s not like that, but surely it?s not that difficult to move that kind of stuff for a few hours?

I find it horrible - accepting he?s moved on is hard enough without seeing it in the home we had built together. In some ways it helps as makes me think a bit less of him though iyswim.

Would it be unreasonable of me to point this out and maybe nicely ask ex H to be a bit more considerate if I?m coming round to sort things out? Or should I bite my tongue and just get on with it knowing we're pretty close to having got everything sorted? Am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 13/05/2010 19:07

No, but only say something if you know it won't ruin the amicable relationship you have with him.

Tootlesmummy · 13/05/2010 19:07

I can imagine it must be upsetting and I feel for you but I think you may be being a teeny bit oversensitive. Do you really still need to go back. Couldn't you remove your things in one go?
Sorry I don't want you to think I'm being harsh but I think you need to get your closure and move on with your life.
Hope it goes well.

dizzydixies · 13/05/2010 19:08

no, I'd be devestated - maybe he genuinely doesn't realise

depends on whether or not you want his to KNOW you're still bothered though?

AnyFucker · 13/05/2010 19:08

I am sorry you are upset

But I am struggling to understand why you keep going back to the house "to sort things out"

Sort what things out ?

Have you separated properly, or not? I would be sorting that...problem over

Or is that just too black and white ?

dittany · 13/05/2010 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JurgaSala · 13/05/2010 21:01

Say it only if you want to stay at the old house for another half an hour to have an argument..
Honestly I think it wouldn't change anything and in the worst case scenario it will make him to feel cocky.
I understand it might sound as 'easy to say' but it's even good that you have an opportunity to realize that he moved on, so let him move on from your head, and move on yourself.

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