I am very confused....guidance needed!!

[PinkiePoo]

Where do i start....my OH and i, had a bit of a relationship breakdown last year, looong story, his commitment was not there and i felt i was constantly being pushed out. I met another guy, and clicked instantly. We just talked at first and then one thing led to another. Anyway i decided that i couldn't hurt my OH, and ended the relationship. I started seeing this guy but things weren't how i thought they would be, plus he lives up north...i am in south. Leaving my OH kicked him into shape and it made him realise how much he wanted to be with me. We took it slow, but decided to move into together. We are now TTC. I am very happy, we do have our moments, but i still talk to this guy......mainly as friends, but there definately is feelings there between both of us. The other day, he told me, he has met someone......i didn't expect to feel the way i did. I can't stop thinking about him.

Maybe i am just a bit jealous.....arggghhh but it drives me crazy. I sometimes feel like i am in love with 2 people!! But i know i cannot have my cake and eat it!!

Any advice????

Stop any contact with the other man.
Move on.

I know.

Easier said than done!

I think you need to be 100% honest with yourself about what it is you want. You say "I am very happy" and that you are trying for a baby. So... what does this other chap bring to the table? Are you honestly happy? Are you wanting a baby to 'make everything okay'? or what? What is going on in the rest of your life?

Maybe unfulfillment in other areas is causing you to seek too much from your relationship... I don't know. Just sounds to me like you haven't really got things clear.

And, I'm going to put my big boring mummy pants on here and advise you to stop TTC until you figure it out.

Good luck with what you decide - this stuff is never easy. Just be honest about what makes you happy

Thank you. Great advice.

I know my head is all over the place. When i met this guy....it was weird, felt like i had known him all my life. Even to this day, i think we are soul mates (cheesy i know) but there is certainly something there. Yet i love my OH with all my heart. And the thought of having a family together really makes me happy...but am i doing this for me? I have always wanted to be a mummy.

Life is never easy!!

'Easier said than done'

Oh grow up. You either want it to work with your OH or you don't, it's that simple.

If you decide to continue contact with your OM then let your OH know how you feel, let him go have babies with someone who respects him and loves him.

harsh....but true.

I didn't want to cause arguements over this...i don't enjoy this. I won't even talk to my friends about it. But understood.

Thank you

I think that this is already working itself out anyway, don't you?

OM is moving on with a new relationship. Your back with OH. You and OM never felt strongly enough to move closer together. If and when you get pregant thats going to be the final nail in its coffin.

OM would be a bit wierd if he'd want to have an affair with a pregnant lady. You'll no doubt feel a lot different too. Trust me, sex changes somewhat when you are pregnant!

Mourn the passing of your exciting fling and then get a grip! Being pregnant and being a mummy is awesome but you need to be ready and not daydreaming on Facebook with some old flame or whatever! Again, best of luck

rude your advice really is pretty good.

Your right i need to move on. It will be hard, but i would be hurting someone in the process. So clean slate.

Just needed to get this off my chest.

Thanks for being so understanding!