What was it that finally made you leave/kick him out?

[RockSteady]

My Dsis has a really crap boyfriend. He is a total waste of space and she is so lovely she is wasting her life on him. They have been together about 8 years maybe.He has cheated on her,he works occasionally but will often spend his money on himself leaving her to borrow money from her family to pay bills.He has let her down so badly recently aswell, she really needed him to support her emotionally and he just wouldn't do it. He has done worse but don't really want to say as she is on mumsnet occasionally although what I have typed may already be enough for her to identify herself.
So to anyone who has been in a relationship with a total twunt like this one, what was it that finally made you end the relationship?Is there anything anyone could say or do for you that would have helped you leave the relationship sooner? I just don't want her to waste anymore of her life on him
thanks

bump

army welfare helped me leave for good.....seeing the ex have a fallout with a neighbour,when the ex was in the wrong did it for me.....just seeing others looking at him in shock ....just validated how i felt really....

so,for me,others opinions of him...he became an embarassment

Is your DSIS unhappy in this relationship, it's just that you don't say whether she is or not. I know it sounds obvious that she should be unhappy but some people do put up with the most tossiest of people and are still happy . I know I wouldn't be and many moons ago I was with a total shitwit but it took me ages to actually take the bull by the horns and leave, thankfully I have now been in a great relationship for many years. I think there is little anyone can do outside the relationship, maybe you just need to wait for your sis to see this fella's true colours in her own time.

No amount of advice or anecdotes we give you will help your sister leave though.

She needs to have the courage to leave because she wants to, and until she actually wants to leave there is not much you will be avle to do to convince her.

Typically the relationship needs to hit an all time low or he needs to do somethgin that crosses her line of tolerance, or she needs to meet someone else before she will decide to leave.

What a horrible situation for you to be in though.

thanks everyone. I'm really not sure about how happy she is, she has posted on here a couple of times asking for advice about him (i know i shouldn't have looked but I couldn't help it)and she can't enjoy explaining to family why she has to borrow money again or making excuses for the ways he keeps letting her down.
I just think that if she is okay with the situation then it's only because she doesn't realise how it should be and that this is not how other relationships are and that she could do so much better which is why I feel I have to stick my nose in.
I want to tell her that she's still got time to meet someone lovely and get married,have a baby etc if that's why she's scared to leave him. I haven't wanted to get involved earlier because she's never asked for help and rarely complained about him, but things have come to a bit of a head and he has absolutely appalled me with his selfishness,i'm so sad for her.
Do you think that telling her all these things straight will help at all? I wouldn't expect it to have much effect but could it start making her think differently about her situation?
she's having a really tough time at the moment and I don't want to upset her