My DH has recently become quite nasty.
Whenever we argue (and we seem to be doing it everyday), he just walks away from me mumbling swear words under his breath. FOr example yesterday, it was a minor disagreement and he just walked off and muttered "oh fuck off" under his breath. I was outraged, so I went after him and started to shout, which developed into a huge fight with both of us yelling and me finally leaving the house slamming the door. This was just as I was about to leave for a girly night out and he was looking after our one year old DD. The argument didnt have anything to do with me going out, it was just an example of a petty argument which developed into a huge row. Obviously it ruined my night.
Last weekend my sister came to stay for two nights and he was behaving rudely all weekend. He didnt actually say anything or do anything in particular, just was short tempered and moody, and my sister of course noticed and she felt uncomfortable. I mentioned this to him in the row last night and he said "it served you both right!"
I believe he was referring to the one occasion on which I was telling my sister how we hardly ever go out together and he came in angrily, saying I'm always saying things behind his back, and that I'm always moaning and complaining.
I later texted him after I came home, saying this was not on, he was turning into a monster and if he didnt snap out of it I wouldn't be around for much longer. I also said that I loved and accepted his family as my own family - I get on with them very well - and that if he felt the same about mine, he would call my sister and apologise.
I received no response.
I have tried talking to him on many occasions, about how I feel unhappy about his moods and I feel like I get no attention from him, and he always says, "but I dont feel loved or cared for by you either". I accept that I am not loving or caring towards him recently, but how can I when he is so distant and moody and miserable all the time?
For the sake of being rational and a previously easy going DH, I am trying to think of reasons why he is behaving in this manner. He has recently been demoted at work from running an office and having a large team to having one assistant. The company also have spoken to him about cutting his wages, although that hasnt happened yet.
On the same day as the demotion, his bank account was closed down due to fraud. £1600 was stolen from the account. Needless to say, until this gets sorted by the bank, our financial situation is very tight.
Could these changes be the cause of DH's behaviour, or am I making excuses for him? Even before the changes at work happened, we've been fighting abit too much.
Even if this is the issue, I cant help feeling hurt and upset by his nasty attitude, and I do feel like going away to stay at my mums for a week or so, just to be away from his moods.
I have reached the point now that I feel I just cant take any more of his behaviour. He is rude, short tempered, uncaring and distant, and I really am hating him at the moment.
When I think of how our relationship used to be, I feel so sad, moreso because I have become the bitter, angry and shouty person that I am.
Am I being unreasonable?