In a bit of a pickle...

[cougarmum]

.

why?

sorry - DP walked in just as I was typing and I panicked and deleted it.
I'll try again..

So I have been with DP 8 years, 2 dc. We are in a bit of a sexual rut I suppose. I love him dearly but stress of work and kids just gets in the way of things sometimes.
The other night on Facebook, the younger brother of one of my old schoolfriends came on and we were chatting. He says he always had a crush on me when we were younger (he's 10 years younger) and started joking about saying I'm a cougar and a MILF.
I was flattered and encouraged him a bit and the whole conversation got quite dirty and heated and we both got rather ahem excited.
The conversation ended and we agreed to keep the whole thing to ourselves (obviously!).
He is married, with 2 dc and lives abroad so there is no way we'll ever do anything in RL but I feel so sleazy and dirty now. I feel like I've cheated on DP - I'd be so upset if he did this online and I feel like a complete shit.
I can't tell him, but it was so exciting and dangerous and it made me wish things were a bit more spicy between us.
Don't know what I want you all to say, but please don't flame me.

Yet another reason for facebook to be closed?

I like you have been with DP 8 years, 2 dcs and se life was pretty dull

DP got shown some attention at work and left us 8 weeks ago

After much sole searching, heart ache and to be honest the worst 8 weeks of my life, we have finally both realised that their where fundamental flaws in the relationship, but through the help of relate, we are now trying to get back together and the sex is amazing

It needed him to do something and leave, for this to all come to a head and made us realise we need to change.

My advice to you, would be to use this as a warning sign that all may not be well, talk to your partner and try to work out how you can solve the rut you have got yourself into.

Dont go down the road we have just travlled as is it very hard, especially on the children and it all could have been prevented by talking and not buring our heads in the sand

You have not done anything technically wrong, but use it as a red flag to sort your own realtionship out

Hope that helps

LM x

Well, I'd take it as a wake up call. You said yourself that things have got in to a rut. Now is the time to work on that. I wouldn't contact the OM again, either.

gosh at spelling !

rey....closed? another social networking site would just take its place

more to do with adults going too far...and why?

sorry meant close your account. You could easily do it again. Is it worth it? Not you personally TBB.

yes. maybe delete him to remove temptation and use this as an oppurtunity to sort things with your man?

Lillymolly - your post has made me see how damaging this could be if it gets out of hand and believe me it won't happen again.
DP is a good man, he's kind, works hard and dotes on me and the dc, but he's just a bit unexciting.
I have talked to him about spicing things up between us, suggesting special nights together with a nice meal and no tv etc but it never seems to happen, or if it does it feels forced and like his heart isn't in it. I wish he'd be more proactive and suggest different things but he's a plodder. He's contented with his lot and thinks I should be too. Maybe I should be and maybe this is a mid life crisis but I want to feel the excitement I felt the other night but I want to feel it with my DP not some horny married man thousands of miles away.
I'll try and talk to him again.

Also I am at the buzz it gave me. I have never even contemplated the whole 'cyber sex' thing - I thought it was sleazy and sordid, but it was very thrilling. I just can't see DP ever wanting to spice things up to that degree.
His idea of excitement these days is leaving the light on

From someone who was in your position and chose the other man I'm telling you stop it now and work on your relationship - the grass is not greener believe me