DP and I are having some relationship issues, and in our heated 'discussions' I have found it hard to express how I feel, so am in the process of writing a letter to him to put my side of things which I could do with some help with.
This morning, he told me (after another unrelated argument) that I was lazy, that he earned the money therefore he shouldn't have to do any cleaning, and that I was selfish.
Some background:
We have 2 dc, 2 years and 3 months. He has his own business and so do I, although mine has been ticking away on a fairly low-level footing since we've had children. My business operates summer only, so requires me to do a couple of days work a week through the summer (one day on location for long hours) and maybe half a day a week during the winter, with my intention being to build it back up when the children are a bit older and can be left more easily. The 2 year old goes to a childminder 1.5 days a week. I am about to start the summer work this week, so will be doing one day on location, taking the breastfed baby with me in a sling/pram and fitting the other day's work into the childminder days or evenings, obviously with the baby with me during the daytime too.
He works (tradesman) Mon-Fri, usually starting mid-morning and getting home in time to help with the children dinner/bath/bedtime. He often gets up with the toddler and plays/dresses/breakfasts him, more so since dc2 was born.
He is someone who is generally lovely, great with the children, and great at doing (often unnecessary) DIY/gardening/outdoor jobs, so likes to have projects on the go - currently the vegetable garden. He does nothing in the house; no cooking, cleaning, paperwork, washing; he doesn't put his dirty clothes in the basket; he doesn't take plates or glasses out to the kitchen; he makes work for me by being untidy/dirty. We have a large garden which he keeps on top of and he feeds the animals (5 mins each evening).
I do all of the household tasks and weekday childcare. My business makes approximately 1/3 of the net profit that his does.
IMO, we have fairly equal roles, and think that he should be made to see that this is the case, and have enough respect for what I do to not ever say such things as he did today.