DH walked out now wants to come back

[daisymay1]

DH walked out on me and 4 yr old on New years eve, completley out of the blue for me. Turned my world upside down. I tried for months to see if he would come back but he was not interested at all. I have now decided I want to be without him for many reasons, however he now wants to come back to his family. He is very up and down with his personality and I do not miss it one bit. He is doing everything to get back into my life. I think I should for my 4 yr old but I don't see a life with me and him anymore. He stays round to see or DC (he lives with his parents so easier for him to stay here). I just want nothing more to do with him (except from our DC) but surely this is wrong?? Advise please!!!

Nope. You have turned the corner and you can see that your life is better without him. He can be a great parent without you two being a couple. Stick to your guns. And when he stays round to see your DC don't stay with him.

Stick to your guns, you must know in your heart it would be wrong to have him back. Aside from the fact he might do it again!

kick to the kerb. he only wants back cos you are no longer interested he will dump you again as soon as he has you hooked again

Thankyou, I know what is the right thing, but sometimes it is easier to hear it form others aswell.

stick to your guns

funny that now he sees you are strong and moving on, he wants to come back

fucking typical of selfish, ignorant, cheating men and you should tell him this

what a pity party he must be having with himself

boo hoo...is the grass not greener then ? what a shame

i think ericpicklesfatneck is right. he wants you because you have now decided to get on with your life and you look happy and sorted. Please don't let him back if you truly think you are better off without him.

If and i stress IF you want to try again i would suggest that he continues to live where he is now and you slowly explore the idea of being together before he moves back in. He will need to show real commitment to the idea of being back with you and the dc's without the "comfort" of just dropping back in to where he left off.

Sorry you had to deal with this and well done for coming to terms with it so quickly. I agree, if you don't want him back as a husband, then don't take him back. He can still be a good father to the DC without living with you in the family home.

If there is the slightest chance that you think you could make a go of it as a couple, then I would suggest he start to "woo" you again - go on dates together, see if there is actually anything there to salvage. If not, please DON'T do it just for the DC - you will hate it.

I have a friend whose H buggered off with another woman when their DS was 2 - the affair only lasted a couple of months (he realised it was a mistake) and after a year she let him come back for the sake of their DS, more than anything. 10 years down the line she has had enough of putting up with him for the sake of DS and has left him. She is much happier now.

how are you daisy?

have to echo what the others are saying - only start a relationship with him if thats what you want. Dont let him back in - its on your terms now.

Good luck

the thing that would be really bad for your DS would be if he came back and then left again which is entirely possible if a) you are not happy and b) he is only coming back because he foudn out the grass wasn't greener.

For you, you know the grass is greener without him. What if he came back and then you met Mr Right six months in?

Your child's life is stable now - don't risk that just for some idealised version of parenthood that doesn't exist for you as a couple.

Tell him he had his chance and he blew it.