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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So So angry with DH, I just can't rely on him for anything

13 replies

squashimodo · 02/05/2010 17:23

Dh is driving me mad, really utterly mad. I have found out that he has been ignoring me on everything. He takes the kids out and leaves them unsupervised, so that he is not watching them. They are autistic. He leaves the 3 year old in the company of his 7 year old brother, who usually loses his temper and hits him. I just can't go anywhere now and leave the kids with him. I am so angry about it all. I have even thought about splitting up with him. I think it is just a matter of time..

OP posts:
Original poster
squashimodo · 02/05/2010 17:27

Seriously, this is neglect isn't it. I am just so

OP posts:
PlumBumMum · 02/05/2010 17:29

He takes them and leaves them where?

Lulumaam · 02/05/2010 17:30

where does he leave them unsupervised?

sounds a horrible situation if you cannot trust their father to look after and keep your children safe

how did you find out?

ZZZenAgain · 02/05/2010 17:33

why does he do that, what is he going off to do when he leaves them unsupervised?

Original poster
squashimodo · 02/05/2010 18:08

He doesn't watch them and just chats to friends. I found out about it by coming home early, and just chatted casually with him and he told me everything. He thinks I am getting things out of proportion. He was so casual about tellling me about it, fuckwit! I feel so stressed now, I can never leave the kids alone with their own father.
I have three boys with autism, I can never get a break now. I feel so sad, and sort of keep thinking no other woman has to put up with this kind of crap. Really shit day.
WTF do I have to say to him, to get it into his head....I am so pissed off!

OP posts:
Original poster
squashimodo · 02/05/2010 18:10

He will take the three year old out, runner with no sense of danger, and let him run up the road, and just wait for him to come back. He is fully aware of his issues, and still thinks it is ok. God, I could kill him.....

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 02/05/2010 18:21

I would not let a NT 3 year old run up the road unsupervised and just wait for them to come back

am not surprised you are furious

LadyLapsang · 02/05/2010 18:27

Do you think your DH might be somewhere on the Autistic spectrum himself because I understand quite a lot of parents (mainly dads) first come to light with a diagnosis following the diagnosis of their child with the condition.

EricNorthmansmistress · 02/05/2010 19:38

My DH is not good at danger awareness either. It drives me crazy too. He is aware of risks once he has seen/heard about an actual near miss, but trying to explain risks to him sometimes is like talking to a wall. he thinks I'm overreacting or he sticks his head in the sand and doesn't want to imagine the worst.
FWIW I think DH has ASD tendencies too. It seems quite common to have a lack of safety awareness.

GeekOfTheWeek · 02/05/2010 20:45

He lets his brother hit your 3 year old?

FairhairedandFrustrated · 02/05/2010 21:37

GOTW, I think the 7-year-old is one of her children, (who is hitting a younger brother).

GeekOfTheWeek · 02/05/2010 22:53

Oops thought it was the ops bil doing the hitting. Not that it makes it any better that it is her older son.

ZZZenAgain · 03/05/2010 11:59

no wonder you are angry. I am sorry I really don't know what to suggest. It won't be easy being your own with 2 young autistic dc either. Not sure how you can make it clear to him beyond what you have already said that he must pay attention to the children when they are with him.

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