Just need a quick rant about twunt exh! Argh

[lunavix]

I've got another thread going about what to do about his controlling behaviour... we had a mini argument today about weekends and time with the kids (apparently he can't be expected to write the email arranging these in his diary, and it's not fair on him when he estimates when he's having them and loses out as he's wrong )

I received a text about two hours after he collected, saying 'dd said she went swimming in her watch, you do know it's broken now don't you?'

so i replied saying that she didn't, she had it on in the bath and i dried it and it worked, but she put it, unknowingly to me, in her pocket and it went in the wash, hence now not working.

so i got back 'have you replaced it? and apologised?'

rather confused i was like 'huh? who to?'

apparently, I should have replaced her watch immediately, and have instantly apologised to his mum as she apparently bought her this watch and I owe her an apology for washing it. My dd is THREE, far too young for a watch, it's scratched to pieces (is smally kiddy stretchy plastic type thing.)

So here's me slightly shocked, uhhhh no I haven't replaced it, if I'm honest she's too young to take care of one, and no, haven't apologised to your mother, it was only a watch she views it as a toy that she rarely wears and as she's had it a year or two I wasn't even aware where it came from.

So I got a reply that I'm vile, repugnant, picking a fight, pathetic, a mess, and he's so much happier and better off without me

Urrgh, I feel your pain

Especially on the thing about arranging access weekends and what's happening when. I know there should be give and take and XH is helpful on some occasions but mine is just so disorganised and it's very frustrating as I seem to lose out when he forgets or gets it wrong.

The watch thing sounds really annoying. best to keep your distance for sure.

Stop conversing with him, he uses it as an opportunity to be vile to you!!!!!!

I would do email only and only respond to direct comments about arranging contact.

CG - I know, I know! I always rise to the bait!!!

I did email him discussing weekends - he has replied back that he's now refusing to email me in future as it confuses him too much!!!

I know I need to sort that CAB thing out I've just been feeling everything getting on top of me again - got a busload of uni work, working full time (stupidly long shifts with a 4 hour round commute) house is beyond clean and hygienic, ds was sick and as usual I miss them stupidly much because they've gone to his (had to carry ds out the door because as usual he didn't want to go :/ ) dd asked me to paint her room this weekend (working 26 hours between now and sunday night so unlikely to happen) not to mention garden, garage, desk sat on front garden surrounded by weeks and that's not starting on the fact I'm dating someone and it's five months in and he's decided he'd rather go out drinking tonight and still shows no interest in meeting my kids!!!

Okay, I think I've calmed down a little. Sorry for the minor meltdown

First few days on slimming world NOT going so well. Would be turning to the vodka if not up at 445 for work!

ifyourehappy - aw i'm sorry yours is similar.

My main problem with it all is I have no family and few friends. I rely on him and his mother for a lot of out of hour childcare due to working shifts. I'd do anything not to need to

Oh luna, my sympathies. My exh has been telling me today what a greedy, grasping person I am and how much I love money. Because after paying off his debts, supporting him, and giving money to his family, one day I stopped. This is a betrayal, and he never betrayed me because he never gave me anything and thus never stopped, so he is therefore morally superior.

I try to cultivate a sense of humour about it. When that fails, I just remind myself that I don't have to wake up with him every day.

NicknameTaken - Oh no.... they're vile aren't they. Mine claimed my two were only sleeping at a friends so I could claim benefits to pay her, and in future I must ask him to have them first.

I do try doing that too. (reminding myself about not being with him) I pray for him to meet the right person in the hope that it'll take the focus off me!!

The one relationship he's managed to have didn't end well, according to my 3yo and 6yo. Apparently she said a few choice words (possibly not in front of them, they're confused) and he's told them she has to think about what she's done. I suspect this was challenging his authority, but if I could I'd be posting her a 'congratulations on your lucky escape' card. Right after trying to convince her to give it a second shot

We should market those cards!

although our exes would claim the profits.

Yup, by claiming his maintenance paid to make them. And he was the inspiration to write them.

Trying to remind myself how lovely it is he's not here. But my babies are with him!