DG
There are the 3cs to remember with regards to alcoholism:-
You did NOT cause this
You cannot cure this
You cannot control this
(I note you have been trying the last one; simply put it does not work)
Do not drink alcohol with your H any longer; that can be seen as enabling behaviour. You have enabled him by doing that particular behaviour.
You cannot save him and or rescue him from his alcohol problem; you can only help your own self here and I would urge you to contact Al-anon as they can help family members of problem drinkers. He is also in denial of his problem, you cannot make him see the truth though. The harsh truth here is that his primary relationship is now with alcohol; everything and everyone else comes a dim and distant second. That includes his family, friends and his job. How many times too have you made excuses for him?.
Alcoholism as well thrives on secrecy; you do need to talk to someone and open up a bit more, I would strongly suggest talking to Al-anon and attending a meeting/reading their literature because you are also playing a role here in regards to his alcoholism.
His inherent alcoholism will eventually kill any love or feelings you have for him and you are likely already feeling resentful. I would also actually question your assertion that you are the happiest couple without drink. This is not the case because the elephant in the room i.e his alcoholism is always present and you're thinking when is he going to start drinking again and what are you going to do this time?.
Re this comment of yours too:-
"There is nothing i can do, and just hope that he will grow up and put alcohol in its place"
You are wrong on the first part (there are things you can do to help yourself). It is also not about "him growing up and putting alcohol in its place". He cannot drink alcohol ever again, he does not have that innate ability to stop and he wants to drink to forget. BTW does he come from a family of heavy drinkers; sometimes alcoholism is actually learnt. Whatever his reasons (and there are always reasons) alcoholism is a complicated subject. Unfortunately also you as his wife is the last person who can help him. I would also add that he could lose everything and he could still go on drinking; there are no guarantees here.
What is the longest period of time to your recollection he has gone without alcohol?.
Did you know when you married he had such a problem or did you think that marriage and or children could change him?.
You cannot change him but you can change how you react to him. You can help your own self here. Also there is an element of co-dependency here within all this; I would read up on this too.
It is also about your child; growing up in a household where a parent is an alcoholic can lead that young person to develop all sorts of relationship and emotional problems. She will learn that something is amiss as she gets older if she is not already noticing (children are very perceptive). They can go onto choose alcoholics themselves as partners or become super responsible as people. You absolutely cannot leave that as a legacy to your DD. You know at heart your man is an alcoholic.