When I was married to my 2nd H ,my 1st H would come in for a chat when collecting/dropping off DD's and we did birthdays all together.2nd H never had any issues with this.In fact it became a problem for me in the end as the two of them would go off to the pub/sit watching a film ,leaving me to sort out all dc's.
When 2nd marriage ended,I remained friends with 1st exh and managed to get to a cordial contact arrangement with 2nd exh.
I had to work at the boundaries with both as they were inclined to want us to do family stuff together rather than to have their dc's with them for the weekend,or to come in for a chat and stay for the day.
When my relationship with now ex,abusive npd partner began to involve spending a lot of time together,he became hostile and objectionable about anything but minimal,handover contact with either exh.
He maintained that "any man would have a problem with cosy ,friendly relationships with exes" and latterly decided it meant we all secretly wanted to get off with each other and would at the first opportunity.
That is obviously deranged
But how does it work for others?
Now I'm on my own,my 2nd exh has offered to get shopping in for me as I am recovering from CSection.
I am reluctant.Don't want exp to find out and harass him,but also wonder if accepting wd give him wrong message.
Or am I brainwashed?
I'd love to hear any experiences - or comments on my rambling!