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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me deal with my emotions over this & not over-react please

17 replies

lesvisiteurs · 27/04/2010 19:25

This is likely to be long, so, apologies in advance.

My grandparents divorced when my late dad and his two siblings were very young.

My grandfather got another young woman in the same community pregnant, and(apparently) despite my grandmother's pleas for him to stay and for her to bring up the baby with the others, left and went on to have more children with the other woman, eventually marrying her when he was able to divorce my grandmother.

This all happened in the 1950s onwards, and it definitely scarred my father emotionally, and his two siblings, one of whom is still alive.

The grandfather moved to the States, my father never knew him while growing up, and he left my grandmother destitute and bringing up three young children.

Fast forward to a few years ago, when my uncle received a letter from one of the American siblings saying she'd been trying to trace the half-brothers and sisters (the letter came from an intermediary asking if my uncle would like to respond).

He wants nothing to do with them, but sent it on to me, and me and my sister have been in email contact.

It turns out some of my grandfather's nieces and great-nieces live quite close to us (this is important to my dilemma).

Now, three of the Americans are visiting soon and have asked to meet us. Although it came as a bit of a shock at the time, me and my sis have kept in touch by email. And my ds has also been to meet the two nieces, who are around the same age as my dad would've been.

I've chosen not to contact the nieces - I don't need to know any more about my gf, who tbh sounds like a complete b, my life is very full and I hardly have time to see the relatives I've grown up with, let alone make contact with distantly-related people who live quite close to us.

Plus, when the Americans first traced us and found out our names, one of the nieces phoned my mum and extracted mine and my ds's phone numbers - I felt my privacy was being infringed a bit at a time when we were still trying to take it all in.

So, very soon, we are to meet the American visitors when they come here. They'll be staying with one of the nieces.

I suggested we meet at a nearby pub, and then the American half-aunt who's had the most contact emailed to say she'd be asking the niece she's staying with along.

I was ok-ish about this and asked her to confirm numbers so I could book a table - at the time I wasn't sure how many were coming from the States.

When the email came back, it was obvious she'd be bringing the two nieces and someone else (presumably part of the family who live near us too).

I thought this was a bit much, and have emailed her politely just to request we meet the family from America, as they are half-aunts and uncles, and not the more distant relatives who happen to live nearby.

A couple of questions - does this sound reasonable? In my heart I am still bitter about what my gf did to my lovely grandmother, my dad and his siblings - but obv this is in no way the fault of the children he then went on to have and I'm happy to meet them.

But I really, really don't want to strike up a relationship with other strangers who live a bit too close for comfort...and I certainly don't want the bitterness I feel towards my gf to come out in the meeting with the half-aunts and uncles.

The half-aunt, while clearly from the emails and conversations we've exchanges, seems very pleasant, also seems insensitive. I think she thinks me and ds would be delighted to learn more about our late gf, when in fact it has solved a mystery for me, but I think in fact I would've disliked him immensely. While I'm sure the local relatives are very pleasant, I have no desire at all to get to know them.

Any advice/thoughts - especially from anyone else with a similar experience.

tia if you've read this far!

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lesvisiteurs · 27/04/2010 19:26

Not sure how this posted twice - any answers in this one please!

thank you

OP posts:
warthog · 27/04/2010 20:15

sounds to me as though you're not really keen on meeting her or her relatives.

i think you don't have to worry about her feelings. tell her in a nice way of course, but you could say something like:

thank you for all your interest and effort, but my gf left my gm destitute and i still have unresolved feelings about that. i don't feel that i'm ready for a meeting just yet. i need to have more time to think this through. i hope that you enjoy your time in the uk and perhaps we can meet up some other time.

now, if she were to try and bully you into seeing her, well then you know what type of person she is. if she understands, then great.

i think it is important to tell the truth though and not make up an excuse that she'll smell a mile away.

overmydeadbody · 27/04/2010 20:24

I think that meeting them once doesn't mean you have to forge any dort of relationship with them, it can just be a one off meeting.

It does sound like you are quite bitter though, and it would be unfair on them for you to transfer your bitterness towards your GF onto them.

lesvisiteurs · 27/04/2010 20:28

Thanks warthog - I'm fine about meeting my dad's half-siblings, it's the more distantly related but geographically close ones that I really don't want to meet.

That probably sounds a bit precious and irrational, but when I think about it, I begin to feel emotional and a bit anxious - and I'm really not like that most of the time - I'm usually a "pull yourself together" kind of person about myself.

The Americans aren't going to be too close for comfort in our day-to-day lives, and just from a curiosity point of view it'll be interesting to see if there are characteristics shared with my late dad.

Plus they've already arranged to come to the UK and we'd agreed to meet them - so I wouldn't let them down.

What I don't want to happen is for any negative feelings to come out about my gf - that's not fair on them, so I'm hoping that I can resolve some of this here!

And it's about how to handle their obvious expectation that I'm keen to soak up whatever they can fill me in on about him - when in fact they've given me enough info by email and letter.

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LittleMissHissyFit · 27/04/2010 20:30

Sorry, but why are you so against the nieces and grandnieces? It's not like any of this mess was their fault?

I'd let them arrange what they like, go along, and see how it goes. you don't have to see them again if you don't want to.

They clearly have nothing against you (why would they?) and are clearly interested in meeting you. As for your niece calling your mum and her giving your numbers out, the issue you have here is actually with your mum. She really ought to have taken nieces details and said she'd get you/brother to contact her.

If I were you, I'd go along for the experience, to at least say that I'd done it.

Try and find the potential positive in the wake of what your gf did all those years ago.

lesvisiteurs · 27/04/2010 20:30

Overmydeadbody - thanks - you've summed it up there - I was typing my first reply as you posted.

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mrsruffallo · 27/04/2010 20:32

I can undertsand you not wanting to meet the local relatives- I wouldn't be comfortable with that either.
In fact, I would be tempted to call the whole thing of. She should have checked with you whether it was okay to bring the neices or not.

lesvisiteurs · 27/04/2010 20:35

I'm not against the nieces and grandnieces - I don't know them and I'm sure they're lovely people - I just don't have any desire or reason to meet them.

It's different for the Americans - they are actually quite close blood relatives and I think my dad and his ds would have liked to meet them, although my uncle feels differently.

It will only be one meeting with the Americans - they won't be here for long- whereas if I wanted to meet the others I could do so tonight - they live very close.

Meeting them all in one go seems a waste of effort - the local people are peripheral and I do have a fear that they'll expect to have an ongoing connection because we live close - my ds lives further away.

I don't blame my mum for giving out our numbers- she's elderly and reacted instinctively.

Plus I have already emailed the American aunt to say I'd prefer just to meet her and her siblings.

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FabIsGoingToGetFit · 27/04/2010 20:38

Say you want to meet people gradually so just what you had originally agreed this time and then never get round to meeting the others?

mrsruffallo · 27/04/2010 20:39

lesvisituers- I think you are right to keep the local ones out of the picture. It could be someone you'll end up bumping into regularly.
That's what would concern me

lesvisiteurs · 27/04/2010 20:41

Thanks mrsruffallo - she did check about bringing the one niece and I was ok about that.

But then I got cold feet when a further email came to say it would be more of them - it just started feeling a bit much. I'm glad someone else here understands why I felt uncomfortable with the idea - I'd like to just focus on meeting the Americans, and there are enough emotions associated with that without over-complicating it.

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LittleMissHissyFit · 27/04/2010 21:24

i can kind of understand you feeling a little overwhelmed. Do what you feel up to, when you feel up to it!

lesvisiteurs · 27/04/2010 21:38

Just spoken to my dsis and she agrees with me - she prefers just to meet the Americans, so I'm glad we're in agreement.

My dc are very excited about the whole thing - not having any real emotional connection to it means they view it as quite an interesting story - plus, of course, they're keen to go and visit them in the US.

And dh can't understand why I'm being so fussy about not meeting the local people - but I think that again is from someone without the emotional baggage associated with the whole thing - it wrecked my gm's life and screwed up her children - so it's difficult for me to be detached.

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skidoodly · 27/04/2010 22:25

I don't really see how you can make contact with some of this part of the family and refuse contact with the others.

It will seem weird and churlish to them.

I think you need to view this as a package deal - either get involved in the reunion with the family local and US (doesn't have to mean ongoing relationships) or else bow out entirely.

lesvisiteurs · 28/04/2010 08:49

Thanks for your reply skidoodly - I do think there's quite a difference in being prepared to meet my late dad's half-sisters and half-brother and not wanting to become involved in a much more distant relationship - especially as the former live so far away and we wouldn't have many opportunities to meet in our lifetimes.

Besides, that's a decision I've already made, my main reason for posting here was not just to hear from some people that that's a reasonable thing to have done, but also to work through the emotions involved in the meeting with the Americans - it's therapeutic to write it down and hear other pov (even if they're not in agreement).

I think the point is that this isn't just (for me) going to be a completely happy meeting in a pub - a social event like a wedding or something where you chat to distantly-related people who are in fact complete strangers.

Instead, it has a lot of negative emotion associated with it, especially as I'm still grieving over the loss of my dad and know how much my gf's actions hurt him.

I don't want that hurt and bitterness to have an impact on the Americans though - they're also innocent parties - so having the local people there would complicate it.

Tbh I'm not too concerned how my request not to meet the locals comes over - weird & churlish or not - and my email requesting just a meeting with the Americans was very measured - so I don't think they will view it as such.

My uncle doesn't want to meet any of them at all, so no matter how thick-skinned they appear to be, I think that does give some hint that it has stirred up a lot of difficult emotions.

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BecauseImWorthIt · 28/04/2010 08:56

I don't really see, though, why meeting them means that you then have to enter into a particular relationship with them. So they live locally - so what?

I can understand your bitterness, but that's about your grandfather and is nothing to do with the rest of the family.

Personally I would go ahead with the meeting, use it as an opportunity to learn anything more you want/need to about your family (because they are your family). I'd also try to look at it as a positive thing - you're meeting more human beings who could turn out to be lovely people whose presence in your life can only enhance it.

But if you really feel that you can't, you must let them know asap, but spell it out really clearly that it's not a personal thing, just something that you feel very awkward about because of your grandfather's actions - i.e. that it's not about them.

Good luck whatever you decide.

lesvisiteurs · 28/04/2010 12:10

Hi Because.

They live very locally, and although it's not explicit, that rather stalker-ish phone call to my mum right at the start has contributed to putting me off even wanting to meet the local people.

Plus it would, I think, divert from the main event so to speak - meeting and getting to know the much more closely related American relatives.

I could, I supposed, meet the local people first, but I don't really see the need to make the time and don't see any benefit - I have a ft job and demanding home life with dh and the dc.

I have let the American aunt know some of this (not as explained above) in my carefully-worded email - just waiting for a response.

Thanks for your good wishes.

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