you can get through this togther, as long as thats what you both want.
It can make you stronger and it (in a way) is something just you 2 have experienced togther and you have common ground iykwim.
We had x2 mc before we had dd and now ds. We weren't as far along as you (12 wk and 9 wk) but to us it was still a baby and still OUR baby which dh & I so badly wanted.
TBH it floored me, I was devastated at dh reacted differently to me which made me feel like he didn't care and i honestly did think at times that "we" didn't have a future BUT before wanting kids it was just us and we had to remind ourselves of that. "We" were the start of the relationship and we now needed each other more than ever.
Dh didn't want counselling BUT agreed I did and agreed to come to my 1st appointment, he wanted to support me and tbh that appointment made me realise that dh felt exactly like I did but didn't display it the same as I was...
I continued with counselling and even went for more sessions after the 2nd mc. I found it helped me lots.
AND when dd arrived I made sure I took the time to visit my counsellor to and to show her dd..to thank her and to allow me to have proof that through all these horrendous mc's happy times are there. I wanted her to have hope for other women in similar situations as I was. I remember the countless times at the sessions where I would ask her "but will I ever have my own baby"... she didn';t have a crystal ball but I guess now she can say to other women "well..it can and does happen" .
I wish you well, the fear of mc is always there. Sadly after 2 gorgeous kids I know that my desire for a 3rd may resukt in another mc but I aim to keep my head held high and to keep positive.
I hope things work out for you, I hope all goes well for you and your dp, I truly do keep my fingers crossed for you..
xxx