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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

something quite not right......

30 replies

KemalsStilletto · 29/07/2005 17:03

I have been with my dp for a few weeks now after being reunited after 4 years. We were love birds at college, totally in love and quite happy. We just had one big argument, I finished my college year, and we never saw each other again til about a month ago in town and since then we got back together. I still love him and he says same about me too.

Before, in the college days, he was all over me, I just had to click my fingers and run, and the first time we met up this time, it was just like old times again, he was very much all over me and telling me how much he missed me and still loves me, but since then if I try to call him, he's always sounding like someone might be there IYSWIM or says he is at work. He did say when we met up again this time that he was having a casual fling with someone, but when I asked him more details about it, he said she was just sex, nothing more, and that now he has me, she is history. Thing is, I can't help feeling something is maybe going on, like this woman maybe is a girlfriend and not just sex as he says. Another thing is, that when we meet up he has taken me to his friend, khalid's (who I have met) house and Khalid is at work or at the gym.

In the college days he lived with 2 other males. I went to his house often. He has since moved he says to another part of town, but says he lives with 4 other guys and the flat is always a tip and the lads always have mates around, but he hasn't really said why we always go to Khalid's and not to his own flat.

OP posts:
KemalsStilletto · 29/07/2005 20:02

I know what u mean Compo. I have just texted him telling him I am happy he doesnt have a g/f and that if he did it would make me very uneasy anyway, thinking about it

see what he has to say to that...

OP posts:
WestCountryLass · 29/07/2005 23:11

I can't second guess what his agenda is but although he tected you loads and was more full on the last time, as you said it was 4 years ago and it is early days in this relationship. I wouldn't be too suspicious just yet, just enjoy each others company for the hear and now and see how it develops over the next few weeks - chill!

I also wouldn't bother playing the mind games with texting saying him having another girlfriend would not bother you. If you want things to work then you have to be honest and upfront otherwise if you do carry on seeing each other it will be based on things that aren't true and could get messy.

KemalsStilletto · 30/07/2005 12:06

I guess so....he has been messed around by a few girls in the past (including me ) so perhaps he;s just taking it easy and not getting so involved this time incase I hurt him again.

OP posts:
babysteffee · 05/08/2005 00:35

I don't know if there have been any developments with this, but 4 years is a long(ish) time (depends how old you are), he might have changed. His confidence might be dented by past gfs or he has just matured, maybe he realises that last time he was a bit clingy and that drove you away and doesn't want the same thing to happen.

Or maybe he does like you but doesn't want to be hurt again, and the past hurt is coming up, confusing him.

Or maybe he's just messing you around. I think you have nothing to lose by asking him... just say you do like him, you don't want to be a pest but he's giving you mixed signals and see what he says.

eefs · 05/08/2005 10:29

maybe he got hurt the last time so is being cautious this time around.

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