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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If you like a drink or two and he doesnt touch the stuff

23 replies

kittya · 24/04/2010 22:55

How does it work? My friend has just started dating someone and she is perfectly happy to be home by 11, like she said, what are you going to do if you cant sit in a pub all night? I feel awfull thinking it wouldnt be for me!!! I sound like a right lush!

OP posts:
Habbibu · 24/04/2010 22:58

Well, it is possible to sit in a pub without drinking alcohol, in fairness - but I don't quite understand your post - you wouldn't want to do anything but sit in a pub?

UnquietDad · 24/04/2010 23:07

DW doesn't drink, hasn't since she first gave birth nearly 10 years ago. (Apart from the odd tiny social sip of champagne for toasts at weddings, say.)

I like a glass or two of wine with a meal, and I like a pint or three if I go out. It's never a problem. She has soft drinks and is happy.

warthog · 24/04/2010 23:17

my dh doesn't drink. we don't go to pubs. there are lots of other things to do! concerts, movies, friends, dinner, theatre. no probs.

kittya · 24/04/2010 23:19

I just meant would you feel guilty sitting there getting abit merry. I appreciate that there are other things to do appart from go to the pub but, when you first meet someone, especially here we do tend to date in the pub. Like I said, Im beginning to sound abit drink dependant!!

OP posts:
Alambil · 24/04/2010 23:37

I have had dates and drank soft drinks only... I don't see a problem.

Their choice to drink, my choice not to - I don't care if they get merry! I have fun too!

BertieBotts · 24/04/2010 23:42

I have gone through periods of not drinking, and gone for nights out with friends when they have been drinking, it's fun, you can feed off the atmosphere and not be skint or hung over the next day!

But a non-drinker who did not enjoy this would probably not be a good match for someone who mainly enjoys going to pubs just to get drunk. The same as if one partner loved, e.g. greyhound racing, but the other was morally opposed to it - it wouldn't be a great basis for a relationship, you need to have some shared ground in interests!

cat64 · 24/04/2010 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kittya · 24/04/2010 23:54

I know. Its just me!!! I cant imagine going out for dinner and ordering a bottle of wine and knocking it back on my own!! Ive clearly only ever been involved with men who like to drink!! Maybe I should start looking elsewhere!

OP posts:
kittya · 30/04/2010 23:46

Ive spoke to my friend who has just started seeing the guy in question and perhaps I should add, he never pays for her drinks!

OP posts:
jasper · 01/05/2010 03:05

Kittya is this the same friend with the bloke who does not want to have sex?

whomovedmychocolate · 01/05/2010 05:39

I'm married to someone who drinks like a fish. I don't drink at all. It's not an issue unless you make it one.

kittya · 05/05/2010 21:13

Ha!! No its not Jasper, I have friends with complicated love lives!

OP posts:
ItsGraceAgain · 05/05/2010 21:20

Agree with the others - don't most people have alcohol-free nights in the pub sometimes?

But if he's, say, a recovering alcoholic who's chosen to stay away from alcohol - then it would be downright abusive to push him to go to pubs. Even if he simply doesn't like being around drunk people, it would also be abusive.

If your mate's got a problem with it, they're not compatible are they?

kittya · 05/05/2010 21:29

I think its more to do that he doesnt get a round in!!

OP posts:
ItsGraceAgain · 05/05/2010 21:34

They're deffo not compatible, then

noddyholder · 05/05/2010 21:37

My dp doesn't drink hasn't for 18 years Me on the other hand well I do and he just rolls his eyes!We go to pubs and bars etc all the time its not just about getting drunk its a social thing.

compo · 05/05/2010 21:41

I'm also married to a tee totaller
it's always good to have a driver but sometimes the frown when I order another large gls of Pinot gets on my tits

lizziemun · 05/05/2010 21:43

I don't drink very often (can't remember when I last did) but DH does and it never been a probelm.

kittya · 05/05/2010 21:44

Does he have to put you to bed?!!

OP posts:
compo · 05/05/2010 21:47

No but sometimes we have hideous drunken rows after that I forget but he of course remembers every word

compo · 05/05/2010 21:51

My sis is teetotal
her and her dh never go to the pub for a drink
he goes with his mates

ifancyashandy · 05/05/2010 22:11
templemaiden · 06/05/2010 09:02

My OH doesn't drink and I do. We sometimes go out to pubs but we don't sit in one all night.

Usually if we go out, we will have a meal out, and a few drinks afterwards, then go home. Sometimes we go to see a film, but usually it's just a meal and conversation and time for ourselves.

I am quite happy to have a few just to get to the 'relaxed' stage, I don't get rat-arsed any more. He just has Coke. He doesn't have a moral problem with it, he just prefers not to do it himself for the most part. He does VERY occasionally have a couple if we are not driving anywhere - that's always funny as he's such a lightweight!!

It's also good as he always drives us home so we save money on taxis.

ifancyashandy - I don't think I've ever gone to the pub and not drunk alcohol either. Except when I was breastfeeding.

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