told being single is not a 'proper life'

[without]

Hi,
I'm in bits.

I'm a middle-aged mum and have been single for over 10 years and without a boyfriend for over 4 - my ex-husband cheated on me throughout our marriage, and I've only had 2 proper relationships since; 1 for 7 months - he broke off our enagagement, and 1 for 6 months - he went back to his ex-wife - not a great record. I wouldn't say I'm that unattractive, am bright, slim, well dressed etc, but no one is interested in dating me.

One of my best friends intimated that being single wasn't a 'proper life' and he wouldn't want that for his kids. I can see his point, but I didn't choose to be alone, and am devastated that he sees me as some pathetic looser who exists to bring up her kids and work to pay the bills.

His marriage isn't great by all accounts and I know I'd rather be alone than stuck in an unsupportive and unhappy relationship.

Why do people have to be so cruel - I have to deal with this slight on my own as I haven't anyone I'm able to talk to. I can't eat and keep crying. I'd love to have someone in my life, but what is the chance when a close friend sees me as a pathetic loser; what must other people think?

This idiot man appears to have really upset you.

Why? We have to put up with loads of shitty comments as lone parents, why do you think he's managed to make you feel quite so shitty?

BOLLOCKS! He is very insecure.

"His marriage isn't great by all accounts" I would be inclined to think that he is trying to justify his fear of leaving a less than perfect relationship. That is his prerogative.

You are attractive
Bright,
Slim,
well dressed...etc

but you are putting yourself down and lacking in confidence which is what attracts the opposite sex and gets you dates.

Start to love yourself and everyone else will follow. Including your so called friend but if I were you, I would ditch him and find some friends who make you feel good about yourself. That is what a real friend does.

You are not a pathetic loser....what sort of friend would say that about your life?? "its not really a proper life "....
Who does have a proper life ??? eh ? Is he totally naive or just had a very blinkered existence ? He is a pratt saying that to you , he hasnt got a clue ..has he ? TWIT !
You are doing a great great job and fantastically stron and admirable to do what you do on your own. I have been there and its not easy as a single parent, coping with kids and work alone. Well done you...its tough and not something from choice...but far far better than making the mistake i did way back and ending up with really bad relationships with men who treated me badly..Its taken me 20 yrs to meet a kind caring loving man who doesnt put me down and is not controlling and self centred. You are strong and sound like a nice person....dont ever think anything negative about yourself. You are doing really well. hugs XX

Why on earth are you letting some spiteful old woman of a bloke get to you? You wasted TEARS on him?? Tsk.

Famous People Who Never Married:

• Beethoven
• James Buchanan
• J Edgar Hoover
• Sir Isaac Newton
• Voltaire
• Jane Austen
• Both Wright brothers
• Katharine Hepburn
• JM Barrie
• Handel
• Ghandi
• Mother Theresa

Famous Divorced People Who will Not Remarry

• Cheryl Tiegs
• Me ... Google gave me too many Christian results for "remarriage", only Cheryl escaped

I think the bloke is trying to get into your pants...

Don't let him. You're fabulous as you are.

idiot!! I only started to feel like I had a proper life when I left my x.

Itsgraceagain - NOT in order to describe a man, or anyone as an "old woman".

OP, The so-called friend who was so thoughtless should be dismissed as, at best, misguided.

What bothers me is posters who say "make you feel good/ bad" about others in your life. No-one makes you feel anything, you do it yourself. Others are responsible for what they say/do, YOU are responsible for how you feel/act.

None of this is easy to put into practice, but it's useful guide to clear thinking.

lifes what you make of it, it appears his life revolves around being married.
it's all about what you choose to prioritise, children, career, caring, travelling, he is very blinkered to think his way and his choices are the ones everyone should aspire to.
As well as that he sounds like a crap friend!

Do you WANT to be in a relationship?

If not, then there isn't a problem - this soi called friend is just baing nasty.

If you do, then you have to put yourself out there a bit. I found my OH on a dating site. Met a good few frogs though first, but it paid off in the end.

But I am 37 and he is the only person I have ever met in my life I would even have considered marrying. I would seriously rather be single for the rest of my life than marry the wrong person.

Even now I am struggling making the transition from the single life to that of a soon to be wife. But there are significant compensations, when it's right.

Words are free,anyone can use them.What's important is where those words come from.In this case they're coming from a complete wanker.I'd question the motives of your "friend" rather than the validity of your own existence.All that matters is the happiness of you and your children.

is he a bit of a sexist twat person? does he think that a woman becomes worthy when she has a man?
fwiw ive been single now for the longest period of time in my adult life, and my life has never been so good! i'm happy, relaxed and in control.
see the positives and ignore ridiculous comments from people who do not have the confidence to make the necessary changes in order to be happy.