how to get him to talk..?

[Leifie]

DH's best friend killed himself a few years ago, and DH was questioned (cleared of any connection but still must have been traumatic).

Didn't have much to do with DH back then, & apart from a couple of occasions when he's drank too much and got upset, he's never spoken to me, or anyone, about it.

Last night he was muttering about in his sleep. The whole thing happened in fairly macabre circumstances & hearing about late at night isn't exactly comforting.

DH has a few issues. I am open about everything, & cant understand why he refuses to discuss this. It's causing him problems.

SOme people don't deal with things openly, and you cann't ake them be just like you.

Give him opportunities to talk abut it and he will if he wants to. Don't try to force the issue.

Give him a safe place, time and atmosphere in which he can feel able to open himself up and talk without any pressure. He will need to make himself vulnerable and so will need to be able to feel that he will be listened to without judging. Some people though just aren't used to doing this and he might need more time and someone who is neutral to talk to. In any case I believe that the last thing he needs to do is to push it down and try to ignore it, because it will always be there.