Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

me and hubby to be are separating aND i need serious advice please!!!!!

4 replies

kimplus4 · 21/04/2010 21:59

hi there,
i have just (in the last month) split from my partner. we have been together for nearly 5 years and have 5 children, one from my previous relationship. we were due to get married in october and last month he told me that he didnt love me anymore so we decided to have a temp split and cancle the wedding. he moved in with anotjher woman but maintains that nothing sexual is going on and this week has got his own flat in our town near where i live so he can see the kids, now i am at uni and i work part time so the kids are in full time baby care and school including my 5 month old that i breastfeed in my breaks and at lunchtime ( her nursery is on uni campus) my childcare fees are 5000 pounds a term which i pay out of my student funding and savings from before i met him and he has paid 600 for them this term when he was supposes to pay 1000. now he came around yester and has got new clothes and loads of stuff in town shopping and refuses to pay the 400 extra for the kids nursery fees even though we paid half each when we were together. he has also started working on sat and sun and says he cant have the kids at the weekend now but wants to have them from 4 pm- 6pm on weekdays. i have problem with this as i feel the kids are entitled to go to nursery when i have to pay for it and it is to tired for them at this time in the evening when they usually are at home having tea and getting ready for bed.
he also has suggested that we should no ,longer attend church which we have all been going to for 4 years, he said it is brain washing and not appropriate for the children but he too came to church before he decided that he no longer wanted marriage and didnt love me.
i dont know what to do. my eldest child says that she dosent want to see him as last week i was 20 mins late home running errands for a sick lady at church and he made my daughter (who is 5) deficate in the gutter by our house, i found this totally unacceptable as he could have let her go in the neighbiours house or in our local restaurant etc. any advice, i was considering going to mediation as when i see or speak to him he calls me name and tells me that i am a s* parent ( all in front of the children) and shouts really loud to draw attention and embarrise me!.

thanks ladies and gents
x

OP posts:
whatname · 21/04/2010 22:16

oh dear, that sounds awful.
think you need some proper legal advice. CAB or a lawyer.
sounds dreadful, but good for you being back at uni with a 5 month old!!!

LadyLapsang · 21/04/2010 22:47

Sorry to hear you have broken up with your partner. Think you both have to put the children first. Think you probably need to go to mediation or some post separation counselling so you can do this.

kimplus4 · 22/04/2010 10:51

just bumping sorry. i am going along to a surgery at the local solicitors today to discuss my options. he saw ther kids yesterday and shouted at me in from of them say ooohh look at you on your own with 4 kids, what kind of a parent are you and stuff like that.
he also said i would probably find someone new to shag now etc etc all in from of the kids, i kept politely asking him to refrain from saying such things in front of them but he carried on shouting and swearing in the street outside our old house. im moving soon into a new house thank god.... no more bad memories that i have to live in.

OP posts:
Janestillhere · 22/04/2010 10:59

Oh I think you are doing wonderfully.

Just concentrate on the kids and yourself.

You are doing thr correct thing by keeping your dignity and being calm etc.

Keep eating, sleeping, look after yourself.

I have struggled in my current divorce situation with two little ones, not 5! Well done.

One thing is for sure, I have found EVERYTHING easier and happier not being in the same house as bad feeling, resentment and rows ensue.

xxx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread