what do you do when you realise you have been made a fool out of

[tuesdaytuesday]

and that you have made a fool of yourself.
and that despite all your gut feelings you ignored them because you wanted to belive it was all true.
when in reality you were just the fallback girl he used when he was on the rebound.
and that you have wasted nearly a year. and wasted huge amounts of money on clothes, and hair etc... to make him like you.
and that still, even after the biggest row last week when you told him where to go, he is texting you to say hi, then when you do reply ignoring you. or then texting a reply several days later.
and you know why, its just to keep you quiet in the background. and that really he has no interest in you at all.

and is in fact a huge player who goes from woman to woman desperatley falling in love at the drop of a hat only to dump them a month later. and that i chose to belive that beacuse i had stuck around longer than these other women, and that he kept coming back it was romantic and we were destined to be together. except that was a load of old bull

you look after yourself, give yourself a break and eat some chocolate.

delete him from phone/email/msn.. andwhere at all

AND STOP CONTACTING HIM.

if you have no dc... walk away and never speak to this loser again.

i dont have dc's with him. so thats a plus. and he has never met my children.

i just cant belive how silly i have been and how i was taken in. how desperate i was to impress this man. if i questioned his behaviour he would give some reason or say i shouldnt ask and was being clingy and that he was the ice man and i should chill out.

what sort of a dick says that?

and that it was likely he never really was interested and just saw me as a thing to have fun with that would always be about. and eveything i have done over the last year, and neglected my normal life so i could be with him. ah god im just a bloody fool.

Its his loss.

You are still you but with fab new clothes and new hair.

Move on.

Delete him and let him weep.

bastard .

sorry,had to lol at "the ice man" ...what a wanker!!

you're well rid. you'll look back in a year and laugh and shake your head at this

hopefully i will.

i just finally realised ( after he called me on thursday for a LONG conversation) then i called him last night and he picked up the phone, said hi then said he would be back in a min and just never came back.

what sort of person does that? a not nice one. Then and this is terrible, but i went through his facbook and all the comments on girls ( and there arent that many, maybe 12) pictures made me realise they were all ex girlfriends. and that we all look really really similar bar one girl.

and then that no doubt he says the same things to these girls that he says to me and they at one point probably got caught up in it all too.

and that i knew he was a bit boring and thought way too much of himself and never asked about me or showed any interest in my life. i remember telling him something once and he said it was irrelevant. ( it was just some funny story from that day).
but for some reason i was just so caught up in having him that these tihngs didnt matter.

what an idiot.
me, that is.

No you werent - its lust it makes us behave like that I would just think its his loss .....tell him his cock is bent or something and forget about him - we have to meet wankers so we can appreciate nice blokes when we meet 'em so going on that theory your next bloke will be lush.

Dont harp on about him and delete him from facebook if hes a nob he will do things to piss you off on it - just delete him and move on.

You're not an idiot, you did a silly thing, in letting this wanker convince you that you can't get better!

Dust yourself off, pick yourself up and move on, delete this twat from all areas of your life, DO NOT give him an explanation, let him work it out for himself.

I've been where you are now, it's not nice, not nice at all, the single option is SO much better.

listen to lisa !!!

Yep agree with Lisa,your worth more than that tosser.

learn a lesson

don't change yourself to keep a man next time

if he doesn't adore you as you are, he can take a hike

move on, stop weeping and wailing and feeling sorry for yourself...you brought it on if you couldn't see what a wanker he was

but now the scales have fallen from your eyes and som other silly woman will soon take your place, feel sorry for her instead

at least it was only a year of your life...some women waste 20+ years of their life with men like this...go on to have dc with them, losing their identities bit by bit along the way

lucky escape

wel i already did that once with my husband already. which makes this mistake all the sillier.
what is even more sillier is that i have had several offers over the last year which i have turned down because i thought holding out for him would be better and i just had to hang on in there.

im not weeping and wailing either, though i have done plenty of that already. im just amazed at my stupidy.

What do you do?

Freeze the sodding ice man out. Don't speak to him, don't check his facebook, don't let yourself even think about him.

Go shopping for clothes and a look YOU like.

Buy some chocolate and a bottle of wine and allow yourself ONE night to mourn the end.

Then move on.

And if you ever end up with another boyfriend who calls himself "ice man", or "the free love machine" (honest, some dickhead honestly said that to me once) - run for the hills.

lol - the free love machine!! oh dear.

seriously though, were do these men come from. it is of no surprise that he is 33 and single, no baggage. only one long term realtionship. he told me it was beacuse he hadnt found the right girl.

yeah - coz its the girls and not you is it!!

idiot. and more idiot to me.

meh

perhaps you need some help in RL to discover why you keep choosing dodgy men ?

they say this because they think they're still 18 and haven't realised they're actually middle aged saddo's,that can't commit to one person.
i understand that you fell for him after an unhappy marriage.
my mum did exactly the same thing..AND MARRIED HIM.

he was a complete twat to us all.

my brother and i had suffered rows and bad feeling in the home for as long as we could remember..then had a brief respite...then had some utter wanker move in,marry our mum,and it all started again.

so,what a lucky escape for you ..and your children.

be stronger next time..and remember the old saying..you do not need a man to make you happy.(it's true)

be a great mum for your kids and you'll all be much happier for it.

don't ever let a guy take the piss out of you like this again,ok?

TuesdayTuesday

Sorry to hear your sad tale but great news you have realised you've been wasting time with a loser.

You are not alone. I have wasted 7 years chasing a guy like this. For 5 of those years we worked together and I was in a position where I could help his career a lot if I wanted to.

He made me feel so special, texted and e-mailed me - even kissed me once and told me he loved me.

Once we both left the company, I thought without any worries about professional boundaries we could be together as were both single.

As soon as I was of no use to him - yep - you've guessed it. The lovely texts and e-mails gradually dwindled away, all the promises of going away together, doing things together came to nothing. I knew he'd had a history of selfish behaviour with previous relationships, and many people at work thought he was flaky, but I thought it was different between us.

Occasionally I get an e-mail from him talking about meeting up when he obviously has no attention from anyone else, but of course it's all BS to keep me there waiting for him.

Why are some people total arses and why do women like us attract them? What a shame you cannot be youself and a decent human being without having to be on your guard that some twat is using and manipulating you.

Thank goodness we are shot of them but it does make you feel soooo foolish.

Tuesday always listen to your gut feelings.
we tend to drown them out with our insecurities and the non certain what-ifs.
now...block the inadequate twat, get your new clobber on and get back out there! not to pull; enjoy being single for a while, and give yourself a chance to reflect. but enjoy some attention, and intend only to please yourself and your children for a while

Tuesday

You should feel relieved and pleased that you're well rid of him. You are not a mug.

You've woken up and smelt the coffee.

Did this man ever offer you a committed relationship, though? If not, then please learn the hard lesson that you're not entitled to one, and that people are entitled to have no interest in long term exclusive relatinships as long as they are honest about their intentions.
What you need is a hobby, a passion, a creative outlet - something in your life that matters more than a desperate quest for couplehood. Because couplehood is not compulsory, and not even that important. What do you like to do? What gets you angry (enough to mount a political campagin for instance?) What matters to you most? Start working on a life for you that isn't all bound up with catering to one man/any man you can find.