If my husband throws me out will the police help?

[Merryoncemore]

Hi,

Sorry, I've just changed the title to see if there is any more advice out there.

Please help as I'm unsure what to do next and need advice from someone who knows. I discovered last Thursday a folder on our google favourites containing internet addresses for adult themed "find a friend" websites as there is only my H and I in the house over the age of 1 and he has a pre exisiting internet porn habit it's not exactly a leep. I went to my mums for a couple of days with our children ( 1yr and 6mths) but returned yesterday morning in order that he cou;d spend the day with them before returning to work.
Needless to say once the babies were in bed he turned really nasty calling me thick, an idiot, a maddie etc as evidantly the file was the work of hackers and threatening to put me out. I'm suppossed to be going away next weekend with the girls leaving the babies in his sole care and really feel we need the break from each other but what happens if he changes the locks? The house is jointly owned and the mortgage paid from our joint account that we both deposit money into monthly, would the police help me gain access?

You could gain access yourself and the police wont arrest you for breaking and entering.

I don't think they'd help you do it.

The police will not help you gain access and will see this as a civil dispute.They will probably record it as a domestic incident though. You should seek legal advice.

I wouldn't leave the kids with him if he's this unpleasant and abusive. Threatening to put you out? Calling you thick? If it was a genuine mistake, and it's NOT, he'd be apologetic or exasperated, not furious and insulting.

You need to leave, and going away with the girls without the children is bad bad bad timing.

So hackers hacked into your home pc and added porn, dating etc websites to your favourites?

I thought hackers would be trying to make away with your money...

Ah sweetgrapes I can understand your confusion but apparently these internet pixies are up to all sorts of mischief!

It's a from me as well.

I think you need to forget your w/e away. A w/e with the girls is not a priority when you have a husband who may chuck you out while you're gone and spend the w/e wanking himself senseless over his adult sites with your children in the house.

The thought of that, tbh, rather than him changing the locks on me would be uppermost in my mind.

Here's some coffee. Have a good sniff. Awake yet? Good.

Am with Bucharest. You don't need a weekend away you need a solicitor.

Don't go away this weekend. Very BAD timing and I'm sure the girls would understand?

Put it this way, if you did go, would you feel happy leaving your DCs with a bully who might change the locks on you? I wouldn't.

He's been sprung - again according to your op - and is taking his guilt out on you.

Seek legal advice and stay put. It's as much your home as his. Maybe you should change the bloody locks next time he pops out!!

BTW - the police won't get involved unless they have too, i.e violence towards you/DCs etc.

i'd go back to your mum's house with kids and work out a neutral place for supervised access.

time apart's not going to solve this one.

Agree with the others, don't go away this weekend, you need a solicitor and you need to make plans to leave.

Legally as the house is joint owned if he changes the locks you have the right to change them back or force entry; he doesnt have the right to lock you out of your house. But its not something the police can help you with.

But I agree with the others: he sounds like a bully and I wouldnt leave my kids with someone like him.

Agree, wouldn't leave the kids with him
And get legal advice re your options.
I think there is a difference if you have walked out to your mums etc or if you are still in the home wrt children being disrupted etc. They have the right to continue staying in the family home - that kind of thing.
But I don't really know.

Thanks for the advice, I'm staying put and will play the rest of the week by ear before making any decisions. So noone else has had this problem with hackers then .

Feel I may need to change my log on name?

Merry - you didn't really believe this did you? And you realise you've got far worse problems than dating sites? You're living with a man who goes on the attack when he is found doing something wrong and you don't trust him not to lock you out of your home and with the care of his children. What are you thinking of doing about that?

Not sure Whenwillifeelnormal as I'm still a bit shocked by it all. I do trust him with the care of his children, he dotes on them and would never harm them but everything else you say is true. Unfortunatly these things are never black and white!