has anyone broke up a mariage and regretted it ?

[candyfluff]

so i am splitting from my dh at the moment because he has a gambling problem and also i dont love/trust /respect him anymore
we have 3 dc and im just wondering if any of you have looked back after a split and think maybe that wasnt the best idea they had ever had ?

no,i never did,not once!

i do often wonder why i stayed so long though

thats encouaging to hear
if you dont mind me asking what were the factors in your break up ?

I don't regret my first divorce...in fact I can't remember the last time he entered my head!

He had a porn problem and thirty thousand pounds of credit card debt I knew nothing about.

This one, I don't know because I am still in the middle of it.

If he were to see the light an get some specialist help for his behaviour, it could be salvagable. But the chances of that happening, realistically, are very remote.

addictions. then violence,anger problems. suicide threats, lies. more lies.

a psych has diagnosed personality disorder,but i was long gone by that point,and no diagnosis would have made me stay anyway....a nasty man

Just wanted to post support for you candy, I know it's been a truly awful week for you.

In the early days of my split I'd have moments of idealising my marriage and recalling the early days. Occasionally I needed to ground myself by remembering the rubbish stuff, but generally I'm the same as ThreeBlondeBoys and wonder why I stayed so long. In fact I'd say I went through more grief regretting my 'lost years' when I was so unhappy.

No, I felt sad sometimes but I didn't regret it and the feelings of overwhelming relief that I got fairly regularly told me everything I needed to know.

My ex had and still has a drink problem and also issues with gambling too. When we first met he used to have the odd bet, which nearly always came in but then the sums of money got larger and he was putting a pretty large bet on every single month with most of his wages and mostly losing, even at Christmas he bet the kids present money but thought it was ok because he borrowed some to make it up.

I read your other thread and fwiw I think you are doing the right thing. I promise you it will only get worse.

My only regret is not getting out of it sooner, a lot worse things happened and I will probably never recover financially. If I had ended it sooner it wouldn't have got so bad.

Hey Candy

Hope you are feeling a little better - I've lost your other thread. I just wanted to add my support to you. You sound like you're doing an amazing job! Splitting up is always hard - the only thing I ever found to be truly helpful was the idea that I had the chance to become the person that I wanted to be - you know, the strong woman who doesn't take any crap, who does all the things that I'd like to do if I didn't have so many obstacles...

x

what Victoria said. My ex h wasn't a bad person, we were just moving very far apart in many ways. I missed the companionship for a bit, and felt sad at what I'd lost. But in the end, I've always known I was not meant to be in that marriage...